I need to rant

[Lady Maven]

I know most of you think I made my family up whole cloth. I don't blame you and I WISH I had that sort of imagination. Seriously.

So I posted that my Mom had been in the hospital near death. In fact her heart stopped three times. She has COPD and an inability to use oxygen effectively combined with a hole in her lung that did not allow her to breath OUT effectively caused carbon dioxide poisoning. She came home, but the cheap bitch refused to let disability pay 200 a day for a nurse, so I took my ass down to Sacramento and stayed with her for 9 days until my truck driving step father returned from a run.

It started OK. My brother who lives with her and I got a nice long visit and we talked art and I helped him with some of his college course homework. He had two finals comming up at the end of the week, Thursday and Friday (yes those days are important to know.

His S/O had been acting ... odd... I could not put my finger on it, but she would get sick and then a few minutes later be ok. (Some of you may guess where this is going, but I am slow on the uptake and round the clock care for my mother made me daft). On Tuesday my brother called from store and wanted to talk to her. Every time I would knock on their door before he would say "Come in" so when I heard her muffled voice I assumed that is what she said and I opened the door. She was sort of in the closet behind the door. That was no big deal, YET, what was suspicious was that she was trying to close the door against me, I thought at first she was trying to get out of closet. I told her brother was on phone and she took the phone from me with a hypodermic needle in her hand!! She isn't diabetic, she wasn't going fishing, so, what the fuck? Then I realized. Sick, acting odd, needle, bitch is on heroine!! At my MOTHER'S house!! Oh HELL NO! Now I should have waited for step father to get home and NOT stress my mother, I know that, but I was SO angry I was not thinking straight. I told her. We fumed a bit and wanted to jack her up right now, except two things. One, neither of us can eat after we get pissed, and we were hungry, and two my brother had finals comming up and I did not want to stress him. So Wednesday my stepfather came home and I went home to Reno, Thursday and Friday were finals, so Saturday stepfather jacks her up. Who does my brother blame? ME naturally. He called me a baby killing pill popper (I had a child die at age six weeks when I accidentally gave him the wrong medication 20 years ago) the pills are my pain medication and anti-depressants. What he said was really cruel and hurtful.

[owly]

sorry about your baby Maven that must still be hard to deal with. Hatama had a baby die on her too, crib death. i'm on a lot of medication too i need it to be sane. i hope your mother gets better or at least i wish her a life without pain.........

[Lady Maven]

Thanks Owly. It was a long time ago, and I have dealt with my pain and my guilt.

And actually, my mother is determined to live forever. I SWEAR if only the good die young, my mother will be a demi-litch. And I saw that with both awe and affection.

What gets me is my brother. I have been so proud of him and bragged of his life being turned around and the terrible things he has said and continues to say really cut me. I know how stupid it is to have my feelings hurt at my age by some stupid emails, and I know I need a thicker skin, but right now it really sucks.

[owly]

i have a brother that hurts me with his words too, he's a meth head and currently has hiv. He really knows how to get my goat with his words too. You got to love them tho because they're are your family even if you can't sit down and talk to him with out insults being flung around.......

[Jezebel]

You got to love them tho because they're are your family even if you can't sit down and talk to him with out insults being flung around.

I'm a cold hearted bitch, because I have nothing to do with what remains of my immediately family. I cut myself off in order to save myself, if you hang around crazy people long enough, you become crazy yourself. I don't fool myself in believing my family loves me (hell, my sociopathic brother would shoot me dead in a heartbeat if he thought he could get money from it and knew where I lived). I can't say I have any feelings for them, except perhaps my sister, but I can't trust her either.

[owly]

i have three brothers and two sisters and i'm speaking terms with all of them except for one brother..........

That's right there is other owlies out there

[Nagash]

Brothers do that shit, Maven. Especially if there are drugs involved one way or another. And if they want to hurt you with their words, they can like few others can. Because they know you through and through.

Don't take it too literally, I guess. Either he'll take it back and apologise because he said it in the heat of the moment, or he won't. In the former case all will be fine. In the latter case, he's a wanker.

[tubs]

I'm confused, what does 'jack her up' mean? Your stepfather told your brother of her drug habit?

[Nagash]

EtymologySense of “hoist with a jack” is from 1885; then, “increase prices, etc.” (1904, American English); both ultimately from noun jack (“‘mechanical device used to raise heavy objects’”)
“Screw up, mess up” sense derived from, or influenced by fuck up, as a bowdlerization; also possibly influenced by jacked up (“‘high, intoxicated’”)
Jack up first dialectical idiomatic meaning: “abandon, give up” (1873), possibly a corruption of chuck up, as chuck up the sponge (“give up, concede, give token of submission”)
[edit] VerbInfinitive
to jack up
Third person singular
jacks up
Simple past
jacked up
Past participle
jacked up
Present participle
jacking up


to jack up (third-person singular simple present jacks up, present participle jacking up, simple past and past participle jacked up)

1.To raise, hoist, or lift a thing using a jack, or similar means.
He jacked the car up to change the tire.
The oil rig can be jacked up higher when the hydraulic legs touch the sea floor.
2.(informal) To raise, increase, or accelerate; often said of prices, fees, or rates. See also jack up the price.
I can't believe they're going to jack up the price of gasoline again — and after they already raised it twenty cents a gallon!
3.(colloquial) To ruin; wreck; mess up; screw up; sometimes as a bowdlerized substitution for fuck up.
I'm not letting him use my computer again; he always jacks it up.
4.(obsolete, transitive and intransitive, dialect, West England and Australian) To give up; to abandon (something); to jig up, throw up, chuck up (give up, concede); to discontinue; to leave a job, break a contract; to jack in  [quotations ▼]
1881?, Garnet Walch, A Little Tin Plate, Google Books Says I, “Let's jack up, man alive, / An' try further down on the Creek!” / “All right!” says my mate, “but we'll drive / Right an' left to the end of this week.”1888, Rolf Boldrewood, Robbery Under Arms, chapter 19, Google Books Not but what I'd had a lot to bear, and took a deal of punishment before he jacked up.1900, John Strange Winter, A Self-Made Countess: The Justification of a Husband, page 201 alternate source “I don't think I shall enter for the Point to Point this year, because we're going to jack up.”“Going to jack up what?” asked one, while the others looked up enquiringly.“We're going to jack up the Service. […]”
[edit] Usage notesUsually, the object may appear before or after the particle (jack up the car or jack the car up)
If the object is a pronoun, then it must come before the particle (jack it up, not jack up it)

[tubs]

That didn't help...

[Nagash]

I think it is meant in the sense of "To raise, hoist, or lift a thing using a jack, or similar means.". So the stepfather forcefully removed her from the house. He jacked her up.

Right?

[Lady Maven]

No, it just means he yelled at them. A LOT! My step father has a Master's degree yelling, I swear. He can do it better and longer than anyone I have ever met.

[asoc]

I was under the impression he physically beat her:-/
But a good mental beating is probably for the best.

[Lady Maven]

Nah, my step father just makes you WISH you were being beaten.

[TEVA]

Sorry to hear your mom is sick.
Dont listen to your brother he doesnt know what he is doing.

[owly]

There's alway a chance at one day him growing up

[MoP]

There's alway a chance at one day him growing up

Like you did?

[owly]

There's nothing wrong with being a kid at heart but being childish with a devil tongue well that's not good.......

[Lady Maven]

You know, TEVA, I WISH he did not know what he was doing. I want to make it perfectly clear HE is not on drugs. That is what is so fucked up about what he has said. He knows what he is doing he is not drug addled, not even pot (though bugger if anyone who is stoned ever said mean things to me). He also knows I am NOT lying for all he keeps calling me a liar.

[Nagash]

I was under the impression he physically beat her:-/
But a good mental beating is probably for the best.

At least we both knew he didn't jack her off.