http://www.cracked.com/article_18489_6- ... da_p2.html
The Cult of George Washington
As you may have noticed, we're hard on the founding fathers here at Cracked, and we've even taken our shots at George Washington at times. But he was unquestionably the father of the country and we don't like to think about how things would have played out without him.
That's why they named the nation's capital after him, after all. And put him on the one dollar bill:
And on our stamps:
And our schools:
And on a mountain:
And a state:
And a monument:
And, uh, a fresco of him being leveled-up to a freaking deity? Painted by a dude from the Vatican to be displayed atop the Capitol?
And carved into a statue dressed as Zeus?
What the fuck? That one almost appeared atop the Washington Monument... riding a freaking chariot.
OK, so America may have taken the whole Washington thing a little too far.
Here he is as a pastry chef.
Why it's Pure Propaganda:
While we have already mentioned the liberties taken with George's life and so-so military career, the way he's been worshiped throughout American history extends far beyond Parson Weems' bullshit story about George the lumberjack. In fact, it really extends into full-blown cult of personality status. The new USA spent decades plastering Washington's face and name onto every flat surface they could find.
Why? Well, for several reasons, but mainly because the new nation sort of needed it. The 13 colonies barely tolerated each other and the biggest danger was that the new nation would collapse into a cloud of civil wars and cannon smoke. Since the United States had little history of its own, and thus no legendary heroes to rally around, the public appeal and near-worship of Washington helped establish a single (and largely mythological) figure all of the colonies could get behind.
Keep in mind, George Washington wasn't voted into office--there were no primaries or debates or campaign ads or other candidates. They basically just declared him President, and most people were fine with that because everywhere they looked they found a reminder that the man was a god. Hell, to this day he's worshiped and glorified in classrooms, textbooks, children songs and just about every element of pop culture from commercials to movies.
Of course his own political allies were quick to promote it, but so was everybody who wanted to sell something by jumping on the Washington merchandise gravy train. Washington was the Che of his time.
