Boys are dumb *rant*

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Amb
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Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Amb » Mon Jul 19, 2010 4:42 am

First, I want to thank anyone who manages to read all this crap lol but I really need to rant...

So I met this guy at a friend's in April.. thought he was the cockiest jackass I'd met in my life and so did not like him on first impression... then in June my friend decides to try to hook us up, we're all drunk and things actually go pretty well.. we start txting and hanging out and I get to know him and really start to like the guy. We were both kinda ending relationships at the time and at first we both said we didn't know what we wanted, which was cool between us. Yeah, we ended up getting drunk and sleeping together a couple times but we were both still confused.

Now this guy has been more honest with me than any other guy I've ever known... he'd talk to me about pretty much everything.. when he was upset he'd tell me why and I'd calm him down.. when he messed up and drunk txted or slept with his ex he'd tell me.. it was amazing to have someone trust me that much and be that totally honest with me. I started to kinda fall for him and I thought he was feeling the same thing, but I think we were both scared... one day I decide to go for it and tell him that maybe I'd like to be more than friends... he kinda freaks out (later told me it felt like the "walls were closing in on him") and tells his ex-wife that he wants to be a family again, even tho he really doesn't so I make him a promise that I won't bring up feelings again unless he says something first because I knew all the crap he was going through and I figured he needed a friend more than another complication at the time. One day I went out with a friend and since he jumped to the conclusion I was with a guy I just went with it to see what he would think about that.. first thing he asked me the next time we talked was if I'd kissed the guy! Took him getting trashed the next night to admit to me that he'd asked that because he'd been jealous.

Now we come to the last couple weeks.. we txt almost constantly all day every day.. in fact in the month and a half that he's had my number there has literally only been 1 day that we didn't exchange at least 1 txt/phone call. Over the 4th some shit went down and he ended up in the ER and I was the person that he wanted to be there with him and of course I was there..

then we were supposed to hang out a week or so ago and instead he ditches me to go on a "date".. then thursday night we had plans to hang out, he ends up ditching me to take her to the fair because he has to "stay in the gf's good graces" now this is the first I've heard of her referred to as the "gf" needless to say I was a bit upset.. ended up totally going off on him about how I was trying to be ok with just being friends but he should know it wasn't easy and he wasn't helping.. I mean.. I just don't get it.. he just turned 32, this girl is 21!! seriously? I just think that's a bit much of an age gap, I don't care if you've known her for over a yr... and she has macular degeneration so she's going blind, which he's already told me before that he didn't know if he could deal with.. but now suddenly she's his gf?

So now we come to my rant.. you KNOW a girl has feelings for you because she's admitted to to you.. WTF do you feel the need to tell her that she should go out on a date and get some because you're going to be getting laid and she should too????? this is AFTER you'd already straight up told her you weren't going to sleep with her again, even tho she's NOT throwing herself at you.. I mean.. seriously?!?! you don't need to straight up tell me "i won't sleep with you again"! you dont freaking talk about it, you just don't sleep with me.. how fucking hard is that??? and if you feel like you need to tell me that because you need to behave well then maybe you need to think about who you're with because if you still think that you're going to want to do things with me so that you have to warn me before hand that you're supposed to behave then MAYBE just maybe you shouldn't be committed to her?!?!?! I'm trying soooooo hard to be happy for you because you do deserve to be happy, but you don't have to freaking trample on my heart in the process do you?? You admitted that you were jealous of me being with someone else so umm why are you doing this to me? Is he trying to make me jealous??? or just being a dumbass guy and not thinking?? then tonight he tells me he "thinks he's found *the one*" after dating her for what? 2 weeks? less than a month after having a very bad end to another relationship.. so I'm thinking rebound, but idk wtf is going through his mind. Half the time I swear he's trying to make me jealous and the other other I think he's just not thinking before he talks because he knows I have feelings for him. I do appreciate that he's honest but he still needs to think before he talks because it's just hurting me... and he wonders why my facebook status' have been kinda depressing lately. And even thought they were about my ex... DUMBASS!
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by bigSparky » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:06 am

Walk away. Don't look back. You only thinkhe's being honest with you, or at least you want to think that. He's having his cake and eating it too. I really hate people who treat others like this. But you have a responsibility here as well, and that is to NOT be treated in this manner. Good luck though, and sorry for your pain.
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. ~Buddha

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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by owly » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:18 am

It really suxs when the one you love likes or is in love with another i know, sparky got it right don't turn back and move on with your life. If i can do it you can too.........
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Venus » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:25 am

i agree with what sparky said.

one thing ive learned in the last few years, there are HUNDREDS of guys out there. hes NOT the only one, hell hes not even the only one u can talk to this week. take charge of this crap now, ignore him. walk away. someone else will come along. they always do

oh and hes playing u, and hes lying.


and girl why the hell did u tell the guy u had feelings for him
thats the fastest way to make them run the other way!
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Amb
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Amb » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:32 am

Venus wrote: and girl why the hell did u tell the guy u had feelings for him
thats the fastest way to make them run the other way!
cuz I was being stupid?? I really dont know lol I'm never in situations like this.. I never put myself out there to even really talk to guys much less kinda get involved.. I've only ever had 2 serious relationships in my life.. I suck at this crap!
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by owly » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:42 am

Relastionships can be a wicked stepchild basturd sometimes, but if your lucky your find someone as in love with you as you are with them. Me and my ex-girlfriend had that once........
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Venus » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:32 am

lol Amb, your learning now:> chalk him up to a mistake and learn from it:>
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Mickal Redwater » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:47 am

Its hard to do, but everyone is right. Hell, i see resemblances to what i'm going through now as well. Basically he's making excuses to keep you around as a backup. Lots of people do this, but its hard to accept and move on. I can't ditch my one girl, even though i know she's still involved with her ex and wouldn't think twice about dating someone thats not me. Doesn't matter how many times you get mad at them or threaten to stop seeing them, its about manipulation.

Don't let him manipulate you. Obviously you still have serious feelings about him, which you may or may not admit, but you have to, to rant like that.

The hardest part about these situations isn't the realizing, its the forgetting. Its hard to forget how happy a person can make you, and when they dangle it in front of your face, including showing you that they don't really care enough about you to not purposefully make you jealous.

Nice people deserve nice people! Just remember that (i try to, but its hard). The thing i keep telling myself is "it should be easy." not like relationships are easy, but more like, 'it should come easily.' I want a cool romantic overcoming the odds storybook romance like most normal crazy super-idealistic person, but when it comes to romance, it should feel nature, not like you have to force it, and make sacrifices so that someone else will stay with you.

He's either really dumb or he's manipulating you to stay around in his life. He'll tell you whatever it takes, because he doesn't wanna stop talking to you. And don't feel bad for yourself, its not your fault and you can turn it into a positive thing, meeting him, but right now you gotta make a clean break or you'll never be free!
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Mickal Redwater » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:49 am

And if boys are dumb you need a man! LoL felt like it was a good cliche phrase.

Not that it matters, girls can be dumb too. I like it better to just say "dumb people are dumb," but that gets a little too redundant.
Lancelot: Would it not be a comfort, just for a time, to believe that we create our own Heavens, and our own Hells?
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by owly » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:51 am

Wait now redwaterz i'm a man and i'm dumb :P
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by owly » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:04 am

lol that was ment as a joke i realize i'm not the brightess candle but i'm not the dimest either. i have a good heart and that all that matters.

And amb it does sound like he's keeping you as a back up and that's just wrong i would give everything i have to be with a intelligent girl like yourself, you deserve better that's all i'm saying..........
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Lady Maven » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:06 am

Amb, the guy isn't being dumb, exactly, or even probably trying to be mean. You were rebound girl. Being rebound girl SUCKS ASS!! The guy genuinely likes you as a friend, but you remind him of the bad end of another relationship.

At least you weren't Owly's rebound girl. That poor thing will probably end up in a monastary having sworn off all relationships.
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by owly » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:10 am

lol

edit/Na they don't smoke. Speaking of smoking i'm going to have to stay at my mothers place when i move back to vegas for a month until i get set up. She said no drugs and i said yup but pakalolo is the only drug i'll do and she said yeah you need it for your depression and i could get it at her next store neighbors house he sells. That's the first time my mother agreed with it since she stopped growing to become a prison guard........

sorry off topic
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Nagash » Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:49 pm

Amb, not worth your time. You'll only be manipulated a bit more.

If you're desperate to get laid, call Venus or me. We're two easy guys. ;)

Good luck on letting go and moving on. Focus on the end of the 'real' relationship though, this one was more of an intermezzo the way you describe it. File under moving on madness.
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by MoP » Tue Jul 20, 2010 9:05 am

Nagash wrote:If you're desperate to get laid, call Venus or me. We're two easy guys. ;)
V would be closer, though. He's closer to everything. Those boobs are rather huge.
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Nagash
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Nagash » Tue Jul 20, 2010 9:00 pm

That they are. They have their own fucking latitude.
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by MoP » Thu Jul 22, 2010 9:07 am

They're also the reason the moon orbits the earth.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the Universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

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Nagash
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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Nagash » Thu Jul 22, 2010 11:12 am

They could be the solution to world famine.
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by MoP » Thu Jul 22, 2010 11:19 am

Yup, they can easily crush all hungry people.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the Universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

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Re: Boys are dumb *rant*

Post by Nagash » Thu Jul 22, 2010 11:41 am

How can we transport them to Africa though?
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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