My Life in Boojy Hell
Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 9:58 am
I have this posted to my MySpace, but my mom got all rabid about it and now my friends are scared to post there, so I am reposting it here.
::WARNING!!!:: If marijuana talk offends you then you need to exit right now and seriously take me off your friends list.
What the hell happened to me?? I used to be cool. I mean, not like other people who SAY they were cool, but no, not really. Remember the cool bathroom you weren't allowed in at school? *I* was the reason you couldn't get in!! There are those who knew me as a teen who can tell you for a fact that I could walk into Birdcage Mall and walk out with anything I wanted from fry to pot.
Now? HA!!
I decided to smoke a joint. First problem was getting a joint. It amazed me first that I did not think I knew where to get one, then amazed me that I found one.
Then came the real problems. Where does one smoke a joint? Inside? HELL NO!! I sewed those curtains, I am NOT explaining pot to the dry cleaners. The car? It would get absorbed in the apholstery and smell like pot forever. Outside? HELL no. My neighbors would think I was a people person and want to talk to me. I hate people.
My bathroom has no fan or window, but it does have a nice airfreshner. Bathroom it is. I go in with my ill gotten gains, and realized I have a problem. I don't smoke. I don't have a lighter. Or matches. I have dogs, my candles are flamless battery operated ones. OK, I can do this, I will use the stove, which is downstairs. So I will light a paper on fire from it and go back upstairs. Ever see a fat little old lady run up two flights of stairs with a flaming paper??
I make it. Barely. I light my joint. HOLY HELL!! When did that shit start tasting so bad?? And this wasn't that low grade green bud, this was chronic. YUCK!! I took a few hits, decided I was done.
Now wait for the fun.
I recall when I was younger this stuff made me, well, not smarter, but more creative, and I laughed. Now. Not so much. I wait for inspiration. Nada. I wait for laughter. I'm too high to laugh. All I can really do is lay there all stoned praying it rains and my roof collapses so I can get some water.
This was an ill advised plan. All I really achieved was losing a full night of crochet work and a mouth that tasted like my tongue needed shaving and a bathroom that smells like roasting ass and feet.
Fuck nostalgia. I am going back to drinking like a fucking adult.
::WARNING!!!:: If marijuana talk offends you then you need to exit right now and seriously take me off your friends list.
What the hell happened to me?? I used to be cool. I mean, not like other people who SAY they were cool, but no, not really. Remember the cool bathroom you weren't allowed in at school? *I* was the reason you couldn't get in!! There are those who knew me as a teen who can tell you for a fact that I could walk into Birdcage Mall and walk out with anything I wanted from fry to pot.
Now? HA!!
I decided to smoke a joint. First problem was getting a joint. It amazed me first that I did not think I knew where to get one, then amazed me that I found one.
Then came the real problems. Where does one smoke a joint? Inside? HELL NO!! I sewed those curtains, I am NOT explaining pot to the dry cleaners. The car? It would get absorbed in the apholstery and smell like pot forever. Outside? HELL no. My neighbors would think I was a people person and want to talk to me. I hate people.
My bathroom has no fan or window, but it does have a nice airfreshner. Bathroom it is. I go in with my ill gotten gains, and realized I have a problem. I don't smoke. I don't have a lighter. Or matches. I have dogs, my candles are flamless battery operated ones. OK, I can do this, I will use the stove, which is downstairs. So I will light a paper on fire from it and go back upstairs. Ever see a fat little old lady run up two flights of stairs with a flaming paper??
I make it. Barely. I light my joint. HOLY HELL!! When did that shit start tasting so bad?? And this wasn't that low grade green bud, this was chronic. YUCK!! I took a few hits, decided I was done.
Now wait for the fun.
I recall when I was younger this stuff made me, well, not smarter, but more creative, and I laughed. Now. Not so much. I wait for inspiration. Nada. I wait for laughter. I'm too high to laugh. All I can really do is lay there all stoned praying it rains and my roof collapses so I can get some water.
This was an ill advised plan. All I really achieved was losing a full night of crochet work and a mouth that tasted like my tongue needed shaving and a bathroom that smells like roasting ass and feet.
Fuck nostalgia. I am going back to drinking like a fucking adult.