Post
by The Sorta Darkone » Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:45 am
What kind of good and honorable empire would desire war? Are not your people tired of the food rationing? The conscriptions? The heavy taxation? The horrible stories of friends and loved ones in neighboring villages being killed or disappearing never to be heard from again?
Surely, the good doctor would rather be charting the stars in peace? Or perhaps traveling them in his T.A.R.D.I.S.? If his telescope is brought to gaze upon the horizons, is he truly happy? Or does that crown truly rest heavy upon his brow? <giggles> Perhaps you could make him a tiara instead? I hear they're light weight if made of aluminum (you can tell people it is platinum, the peasants will NEVER KNOW!) Give him a little blush and powdered wig and he would be SO dashing!! Ooh, a few silver buckles and some tight pants! OOoh, stop it! Ooh, I KNOW this one from my pirate lore! Mickal wants to SING AND DANCE! Quick everyone--impromptu Pirates of Penzance, coming up!
Let's see..how does my part go...
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery –
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy –
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
'cuz those are gonna be outsides!" 
and 
