Monarchs Glen

Stats not really necessary, you all had about 100k less land than us...good up hit.

That said, I awoke this morning to news of my King being clobbered by four mean bullies...one got sucker punched in return. I found it weird though that you did not guild declare and only half of your guild hit this morning. No worries, NIR took the liberty of declaring the war...

Oddly, the rest of your guild conducted a semi coordinated second attack much later in the day...

Weird as this first strike was to watch...I think you still achieved much of what you wanted.

Good hit, I think Aero will be along shortly to try and put the war back in the balance...

And why do you all need so many Temples!!!!????

I suspect they've stuffed their temples with the whacky tabaccy---so that when we burn them, it'll actually IMPROVE morale

(ooc - did not see this one, apologies! We were busy trying to find ourselves with turns to use and not talk back in aviary to let you know we were around lol! - let's use this one then, ya got me by 9 mins sir.)

*stumbles faking a lady-like curtsie, holds out a hand to a random slobery kobold* - shall we dance once more around the fire?

The small crowd cheered and chuckled and slobbered over their portions of the last of their fresh-from-4-weeks-ago w'Elf earzz and shared the morsels of the remains of the last heathen raids.

Oh they didn't know "WHO" but they knew from where.

A soft clap of hands in the distance once the dance was started. The wenchiewitchielady was to have been off on some new exploration or another - convinced she would find the place where they found Carlos. She wanted to see what else she could pull through such a little crease in the fabric of the veil. That lady got to rambling sometimes about shit like that and the goblinz and brothers listened of course, but sometimes more like bedtime stories rather than things that had really happened..or would..or could.

Lately they were building of course, again, as usual. The above was always in turmoil, but down in the Tunnelz deep and vast, they were always building anyway, a little war up-top never hurt anything.

Until the damn heathen start stealin our fookin hard-dug-for shineythings and food!
We no tell dat wench Tara though she needs think about the other projects anyway. No, weeez brudderrrzzz can deal with this. Sometimes Tara's raptors sneak her in messages anyway, and not even this Mauhura would mess around with those things. Deyz crazy.

But goblinz would send message.

Here is basic:

Why you people steal and burn our stuff? "No hit till you hit" - now see what dat meant damn heathen. Tell people stop fuckin around. Thanks.

Respond back: King is king, he takes his taxes do what he want no guild master tell king what can do.

Well fuck dat 'un lets kill dat king.

Well you KNOW I approve of regecide on general principal ( unless I am the king) but we must defend our own.

Ohh great king, ya finally took too much from my brothers.
I tell 'em shhh wait a minute, better prepare, so they do.
And you burn again. I say again shhh I know meez brothers, no worries, rebuild. So they did, again.
Go with tents this time, less effort spent on something he'll just come burn again. haha. So they do.
But they want it back, they want it all back.

And the temples, since ya asked. We like ta pray. And I like the fires. But then you burn those too, from one side to the other. And loot more - as if your hefty coffers needed or could even hold another bag.

And I'm pretty sure yer the one responsible for poor Horance's loss of his latest new best friend (one of yer thieves he somehow managed to wrangle and persuade to be his seeing eye scum). You see dear king, my poor blind one-legged kobold rarely catches things that he can keep and he had something, and you took it. Well, yer thieves did anyway. All the lootin and burnin an'a stealin is one thing, but when ya go killin Horance's new toys...I mean best friend!... that's another thing entirely. I can only hope the 2nd of the 3rd wave sees the end of that kingly raiding realm.

Jokingjoe wrote:I suspect they've stuffed their temples with the whacky tabaccy---so that when we burn them, it'll actually IMPROVE morale

Yet another of their goddess's falsehoods!

Most of our own is kept in a little garden in the bestest cellar ever tended by the sweetest 'little' cherufe ya ever saw.

So there.

*more news arrives. apparently her scummiescumerz got used to break ambush on some droben holds. And they took Clyde with them?!*

WHAT! THE GARDEN MASTER IS GONE!? NOOOOOO!!!!!

Oh who told that old bastard to go on a raid! He had plants to care for!

Damnit Joe! This is REALLY starting to put a dent in my half of the supplies for the trip!

We will see who buries who...

Long Live the King!

Dem gobbies have been doing rain dances on my lands again! My people are very sad and need a morale boost. Since intel is in about a certain "special" basement---I think I will send a special "morale" envoy towards your town to see about appropriating some of your special "healing herbs". Heals bad moods, right?

MM...yes...it will go along nice with my barrels of rum. Well...that is, once my cellars have all drained from all the rain that's been constantly flooding my towns.

TRR I think I will have your guild shaken and stirred

I sense an unusual amount of fear for something as trivial as a trade dispute.

I dunno about fear, I think some'us kinda just got lost in the tunnelz ya made cave in.

Think we had you "shaken and stirred" first - then we lost the garden master and the tunnelz got re-routed with very poor detour directions and messages were overlooked or lost in transition. But that was all our fault. Nothing you did.

As usual yer goddess would whisper in yer ears and have yas mistake'a thinkin yer awesome prowess is winning you the battle when it's more like a lapse of communif'ncation and caved-in tunnelz on our part that has given you the edge, but an edge you have.

Either way. Word was sent out for a ceasefire. - would be surprised if the message made it through at all given the current state of our supply lines!

Messages should be able to travel quickly within your realms...not like the riders have to cover a lot of land...Mwhahahaha

OH!! OH! yooouuuu muddsafukayou!! oh yea!?
well we don't need much ta kill you so .... whatever!! .... HEATHEN!

Makes note! before this is over we will blow up another of his LORRRRRRDSHITTS gold holds.

What ya mean its mostly our gold? .. well ... shit . that's it. don't wanna fuckupmore of our own stuff eh? hmmms ok then. hahaaa . If no ceasefire is reached, we shall have to send word to the goblinhordz to commence OperationShitFling. - oh they will do it too. nasty litte creatures! can you imagine? even if only from a small contingent of koboldz? I mean ... they POOP, ALOT.
If I were you I would accept our offer of ceasefire and save yourselves from the inevitable - a world of shit.
(hehehehhh that was too funny not post thinkitin muh head pfft)

Flying kobolds...they need to make a fantasy movie for that...troll chucking kobbies

Flying kobolds??

My gosh!

I never thought about them having WINGS! ... oh we are gonna hav'ta see about that! heeee flyingshitflingingkobolds!! bahahaha

Lol, and I thought giving the Kobolds a frill (a bit like the dilophosaurus in jurrasic park) would make them look pretty badass, in the artwork. Didn't think of adding wings lol