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 A Knight's Tail...or... A Night's Tale...or, Whatever(OPEN) 
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Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2002 3:09 pm
Posts: 6
Post A Knight's Tail...or... A Night's Tale...or, Whatever(OPEN)
As with all things there must be a beginning,
and the beginning is not where I find myself
but the place where I find myself thinking
about more and more each day. Somehow,
a simple progression of small events have
collaborated to achieve the destiny??? of my
today. It is this string of rather ordinary events
that cause me to sit here with a wee glass of wine,
quill, and parchment to record for posterior (posterity),
whatever.... my reaons for my adventures.

As I digress back over these times, I find that as always,
they somehow began in a wee country inn that I had
found along the side of a dusty road while wandering
through some dusty plains seeking relief from the
blasted dust. It's outline was neither impressive nor
disturbing, just this air of refreshing hung around the
place- (could have been the smell of ale if truth be told)
Anyway, as I drug my tired limbs from the back of my
gallant steed (finally sold the damn bag of bones to a
much bigger idiot than myself) and approached the
doorway to the inn- I distinctly remember the feeling of
shivers crawling up my spine as if something important
were about to occur. Could it have been prescience???
(More likely lice-- dratted critters are hard as hell to kill
when they latch on to ya!!)

Anyway, as I entered this welcome establishment after
a long hard days journey through a parched and drought
stricken landscape. (Rode at least five miles after leaving
Drury just after the midday repast,) I amazed myself with
my graceful movement through the roughhewn tables to
an empty tressel near the back of the main room.
(I managed it without tripping over my sword or rapping
anyone smartly with the hilt as I manuevered around the tables!!)
Ensconsced at last upon my seat of hewn oak
(damn near impaled myself on the splinters in the process),
I waited patiently for service from the barmaid
(Screaming for Ale and Victuals at the top of me lungs, ye understand)
It was never considered that the fair maiden that appeared
at my table wouldst be the image of the Lady of my Dreams.
(Looking back I wonder if I had ever sobered up from the night before????)
Her face was perfection. Her smile radiant.
Her glance enough to stop a man's heart in an instant.
(Stare at the sun all afternoon and you can see haloes around a dog's head! too!)
Where O Where had she been all my life.
I knew in an instant that she must be mine forever...
(Heck, at least until morning anyway) But all my entreaties
and vows of affection were to be kindly but demurely rebuffed
and avoided. Nought could I do or say that wouldst convince
my Lady that True Love had blossomed within my breast.
And that to worship at her feet for the rest of my days was
my only goal in life from that moment on.
(Basically, I couldn't even buy the tramp. Knowing me I sure as heck tried!)

The wine that evening had no bloom, no flavor--
the food , no salt, no savour. Nought of life worth
living remained but to claim the hand of my True Love.
All my admonitions and pleas, all my protestations of
LOVE unending were to no avail. I pressed my adored
throughout the e'en and past the mid of night for her favor.
No success had I. In despair, I begged her not to dim the
one True Light. To give me some hope of claiming her as
my prize, to claim her as my Life. At last she relented and
bid me take upon myself a quest- a true quest of her making-
and if I were to complete it true and return with proof that indeed...
then wouldst she wouldst consent to be mine.
( I understand that the Innkeep threatened to throw us both
out if she could not get me to shut up my infernal moaning...
at least so I have been told!)
In her mercy and her wisdom, one worthy of her hand must
be a worthy man indeed. No argument with this couldst I make
and vowed forthwith to make this quest my life, my ambition,
my aim and swore upon my God Foret's own existence (BIG MISTAKE!!!!)
that I would accomplish it no matter the cost,
(Friends, might I insert here just a moment that it is not
exceptionally wise to involve a God in your drunken boasts-
sometimes the blasted creeps are actually listening!)

My angel, my Light set forth her vision for my quest
for glory and her hand. I was to venture into the land
and seek far and wide until I did find a Dragon or Wyrm
of prodigious size that was terrorizing the land about and
must face it in deed and defeat it in truth. As proof of
my conquest the gold encrusted scales of its belly and
gem bright eyes must be brought back to this wee inn
in the plains to claim my fair prize!

No doubts clouded my eyes, no hesitation my voice,
my mind made up, my quest before me, I took my leave
that bleak night to set upon completion of this deed.
Knowing full well, that my True Love was waiting upon my return
( I do so wish I could remember her name!).
Off into the night, alone I did journey.
A dragon to slay, .....ere break of day.

So begins my tale, fair friend, on this cold winter's night.
I trust you shall hearken and learn of my plight as into the
darkness I journeyed, seeking entry unto the Light.
Heark well and Heark fairly my tale shall continue
about my quest for bliss
immediately following my taking a piss!

Beware Ye who proceedeth Before Me Unto Battle...........Lest I Sticketh Thee in the Butt!!!!!!!!!

Thu Oct 24, 2002 7:52 pm
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Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2002 3:09 pm
Posts: 6
The night was dark, very dark. Which, all things
considered is as it should be. Sir Opie was just
a bit surprised by how dark it actually was --having
spent most of his time in doors after dark.
Most taverns were fairly well lit.... well dang
close to bright inside in comparison to this night
dark black. Sir Opie's path led tortuosly away from
the comfort of the tavern in which he had spent the
beginning of his evening. His mind apparently
bewitched by the beauty and grace of the tavern
maid had lost all touch with reality. His only focus
was upon his hero's quest. In all honesty he had no
idea where to go about seeking an evil wyrm but his
best guess was outward from any thing resembling
human settlement. For this reason he headed inexorably
toward the badlands and his destiny.

Beware Ye who proceedeth Before Me Unto Battle...........Lest I Sticketh Thee in the Butt!!!!!!!!!

Sun Nov 03, 2002 3:15 pm
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Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2002 3:09 pm
Posts: 6
Post The day's Dawning
The dreadful night had seen Sir Opie suffering inexorably of all kinds of depravation... but by far the worst was the lack of a decent glass of ale. By the God's the wine bought at the last tavern tasted sour already and not a single day had yet passed since it was purchased. Matter of fact not even an entire night was gone. Desperation indeeed when wine is so foul that a single wine bag canst last an entire night.

But on with the tale, the night's last hold on the world was rapidly fading into dawning as a pale clear light arose from the horizon. Sir Opie peered around him, closely examining the trees along the trail as he plodded onward toward destiny. Positive that his night long journey was bringing him rapidly into the lands where lawlessness and banditry would prevail, Sir Opie made certain that his sword was loose in its scabard- ready at a moment's notice to be brought to his defense. However in all truth, his greatest fear had naught to do with bandits but with where his next drink would be found. Somehow, in his hasty departurte of the night before, he had not actually considered the fact that taverns might be farther apart in the wilderness than in his normal haunts about the kingdom. How were people expected to travel without a decent inn every few hours apart for a wee bit of rest and relaxation.

Sir Opie though suffering great despair and terrible discomforts, remembered his fair maiden and his heroic mission and hardening his resolve perservered in his quest for glory.

Beware Ye who proceedeth Before Me Unto Battle...........Lest I Sticketh Thee in the Butt!!!!!!!!!

Tue Nov 12, 2002 6:28 pm
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