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 Fools Rush In Tavern & Inn 
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Peasant
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He looked up at her, his eyes blazing. Just like his family his eyes showed a lot.

First off we will get one thing straight. I have never hit a woman nor would I ever. Its just not me not matter how hurt or angry I am. Hell even if Rayne were standing here after all this I could not hit her. That just is not what I would do.

Second off why the hell should I care that anyone claims to give a damn? Look where caring that someone claimed to give a damn got me in the first damn place.

Yeah you may have thought me as Losa when you saw me till I turned so what I am not him and you should not give a damn what happens to me. Few gives a damn or really I doubt if any really give a damn. Cause it has to do with their perfect precious elf and thier damn cant do anyhting wrong Oriana and her brother. Yes I do believe that Oriana interferred like she threatened that she would. Why else but to right how she think she wronged her brother. No right now no one can convince me that they actually give a damn.

I care for you Ariela but I have also learned, that caring and love get me no where but hurt. I would have given up everything for my elf but where did that get me? Where does caring about anyone ever get me? IN nothing but pain. So excuse me for not believing that you actually give a damn but right now I can't believe that anyone does.


Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:20 am
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The last thing I was going to do was to share my views on Condriks beliefs that Gabriel and Oriana played a part in Raynalias decisions, for one Condrik himself had said more than once that Rayne was responsible for her own choices, but now his hurt was making him think otherwise. If you want to know, I don't think Oriana had anything to do with what happened at all and I can tell you why. Since the elf had returned no one has really seen Oriana, she was occupied with Kain and then... well then she was so absorbed in bringing her husband back that I can pretty much guarentee Raynalia and even Gabriel hadn't been a thought. Then there is Gabriel himself. No one has seen him at all, not hide nor hair, it's as if he never came back at all. Like I said, I was going to keep those thoughts to myself. As a matter of fact I was going to be keeping alot from myself for the next few days. I know that Condrik can believe that anyone would give a damn, I do, but nothing is going to convince him of that. So I am just going to keep my mouth shut and just be there. I am however going to remind him of a few people who do give a damn and maybe one inparticular will help lift his spirits if only a little....

You know pal, it might not be the same love that you are speaking of, but there IS someone who loves you unconditionally, and I would think that kind of love is the best kind there is. Aidan loves you Condrik. I've seen you with the boy, we've all seen you with him and just the way his eyes light up when he sees his Uncle.... maybe you could go see him, it might help, it might not, but at least you would see a love that you can believe in and that pal, is priceless.I can't and don't expect you to believe me when I tell you I care, but believe me when I tell you Aidan does. And pal, I know you would never hit a woman, I was just offering because I don't know how to help you and I want to help you...


Mon Mar 01, 2004 12:24 pm
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Peasant
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That is not the type of love I am needed well not from my nephew at least. What I am needing is for being able to have someone that loves me like I love Rayne. The kind of love that does not leave me to lay alone in bed at night. I do believe you care but in a way why the hell should you give a damn. My own wife the woman that pledged to love me does not even give a damn. Our marriage and our vows mean nothing to her. I mean nothing to her. I could not sleep while I did not know what was going on I am used to having her near me. I can not take sleeping alone knowing she is gone by choice. Dont you see I do not give a damn what happens to me anymore. I dont care all I have been shown is why life utterly sucks. I mean really I was better off when I did not give a damn about anyone or anyhting she made me think that loving someone was a good thing. Yeah what a good thing it turned out to be. All I have to show for it is being alone again. Just like I have ended up alone many times before.

He looked at her the fire was back in his eyes he was just as passionate in anger as he was in anything else. He looked at her he did not understand why she had just not left him there. Did she not see that he would just let himself curl up and die there he was sure by now or eventually Rayne would find a way to end thier marriage and he was sure as hell that more had a hand to play in it then just him and Rayne.


Mon Mar 01, 2004 2:31 pm
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Pal, there isn't a damn thing I can say or do that is going to make any sense to you right now, hell I know you don't even want to hear anything I might have to say and yanno I can deal with that because I know your hurting more now than you ever have in your whole life.... BUT I will tell you the same thing I told you before. The man you were, alone uncaring, happy only when at war, killing.... that man didn't have a brother who would go to the ends of the earth for him, or a nephew who adored him, or friends, yes Condrik FRIENDS who do give a damn. I know that brings you no comfort right now, that you NEED to hurt and to be angry, and I also know that you won't heal unless you want to, but it is too soon to speak of healing isn't it?

It was killing me to see him like that you know. I thought I felt useless when Raynalia had been taken right? That is nothing compared to what I feel now. Do you know what it's like seeing someone you care about so much hurting so much knowing there isn't a damn thing you can do about it? It blows. I know though, I can't push him either, he isn't going to get through this overnight and does need time, lots of it before he is going to start seeing there is more in the world than just that damn elf. I swear if I ever see her again, it doesn't matter that she could probably slit my throat before I could ever get a word out, I'm going to punch her right in the eye!
The sun is starting to set, I truly enjoy this time of day when the world is caught between day and night, when the sky is filled with so many shades of dark and light and everything looks so surreal, like a dream. Normally it's so soothing to just sit down with something warm to drink, especially when theres a chill in the air, and just watch night fall. Not today though....

Pal... come back inside the inn with me, it's getting colder....


Tue Mar 02, 2004 9:22 am
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Peasant
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You go ahead and go inside Ariela no use of you staying out here in the cold. And you are forgetting I have always had a brother in Aranor. Granted I did not know Losa was my brother till recently but that is not what changed my heart about anything. It was her, Raynalia is the one who changed all that. I made a promise to her that I would not hurt Losa because she considered him a brother. None of this matters without her don't you get that? Don't you get you would have never even known I existed if it were not for Raynalia and her ways with me? Then she just walks right the hell out of my life what is the use in caring for people when they are going to just end up walking out on you like you dont mean a damn thing and never have in thier life? Tell me what is the point of putting your heart out to care about someone when all they will do is walk away from you in the end. So my nephew adores me, how long is that going to last till he is old enough to go and walk out. And you know Raynalia means more to people at the hall than I ever will. Some how this will get turned on me as my fault by Kiara and the others, even my own brother probably. And how long are you going to be my friend for Ariela, how long is it going to be before you decide I am not worth it and you turn around and out of my life? Tell me this Ariela. I would rather have been left alone from the start then to have ever cared about a damn person. I was better off as a cold bastard than as what I have become.

He realized that he had lashed out at her and he sat quiet for a moment looking at her.


Tue Mar 02, 2004 10:06 am
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Do you know whats worse than putting your heart out to someone only to have them walk away from you? Wanting to put your heart out to someone so badly it hurts but knowing that love will never be returned because the one person in the entire world who has made you actually FEEL something, has been too hurt, has been walked away from and has given up on just about everything. Knowing you will never measure up or be good enough for that one person, knowing you can never be the one that person could love because you aren't HER.... so you keep it to yourself and you die a little every time you are near that person, you hurt when he hurts, you want to cry when he cries, you are angry when he is angry, you feel helpless knowing there is nothing you can do for them and you feel utterly out of control beacuse you want nothing more than to prove that love can be good even if you don't have any idea what the hell your doing ....

Do NOT ask me where all that came from, I know where it came from and I understand WHY I said it all, but the implications, the understanding itself is too unreal for me to even fathom right now. If I could have taken it back, I would have, not for the reasons you might be thinking. I'll tell you why. I never wanted to admit to myself what was happening within my own being let alone admit it to Condrik. I have spent enough time with the man to know, that Raynalia has ruined him for anyone else who would.... who would love him... there I friggin' said it. Yes love him and I do. He was NEVER supposed to know, I am not one who sets myself up to be hurt as he has been hurt, yet here I am, a hypocritic fool who has set herself up to be hurt in ways she never imagined possible! Who the hell am I to even dream that I could love someone and that in time they might love me in return? I should have put a stop to myself long before I reached this point but did I? Nooooo, and why? Because I am an idiot! The only thing I can do is pretend I never said anything at all...

Kiara won't blame you pal, now that everything has finally settled down, she's settled down, and you should know by now that in a crisis she thinks like Jade, as the head of the Order, but once that crisis is passed she thinks like Kiara. She can be scary as hell though that is for damn sure, and Losa, well pal, your brother is more level headed than that.
You are not better off being the cold bastard you were before pal....


Tue Mar 02, 2004 8:14 pm
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Peasant
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Kiara has an allegiance to Raynalia as her friend as most here do. She would rahter kill me than deal with me. Losa well he put up with me cause of Raynalia as well. He could careless. You are the one that I just can't figure out at all. I try and get you to go and you stay. I still try and get you to go and you still stay. You just don't see to quit, everyone else has given up on me why can't you just go and do the same. It will save from me disappointing you in the end too. Any man would be lucky to have you in thier life Ariela. You have someone you want go for him. You never know until you try. You are good enough maybe even too good for any guy, but me what does it say about me with my record of things it just shows what a lousy husband and lover that I am. What a lousy father I make, I could not protect either of my sons in life, and one I am not even sure if is dead or alive. I know some of what happened was caused by my father but still. I should have been stronger, I should have done before hand what I finally did. You should find happiness for you Ariela and you are not going to find it around a worthless person such as me.

He looked at her and he was trying to figure all this out. He was glad that Ariela had found someone he only hoped that the guy would treat her well. Now some may have thought it was him that she loved but he was not one of them that would think that. He would not let himself think that anyone could be in love with him any way, why should he?


Wed Mar 03, 2004 10:22 am
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I laughed, laughed so hard that tears fell from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. Condrik was looking at me like I had lost my mind and maybe I had, afterall who laughs smack dab in the middle of such a sorrowfull time? Me. I had to laugh, the irony was just too comic for me not to.

First off, I stay because your are my pal, the only real friend I have had, you have been there for me just as much as I have been for you pal, and you are the first man I have ever met who has offered friendship without expecting me to be anything more. You treat me like a person and not just a trophy. I'll let you in on one little secret I have Condrik but only one because I think if I were to share any more of my secrets you would be running for the nearest town.....

I am not one to open myself to anyone, Alec is my brother so he doesn't count, but like I said, just this once I would open up just a little.....

I never had any intentions of staying in Newport Cove pal, but then I met this man who in his own way made me realize that I needed someplace to really call home, who showed me that I was better than what I had become, he reminded me that anyone can change and so as you can see, I decided to stay, to open a business and make something more of myself other than being someones trophy. So now here I am, making a life for myself and I do owe you my thanks for your part in it pal. Even now you tell me if I want something to go for it...... I wish I could this time pal, but I know better, maybe in time if I am lucky that which I seek will see me, but not yet, no that is long time off I think.....


Thu Mar 04, 2004 9:30 am
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Peasant
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He was not thinking and he leaned against her as she laughed. He was starting to be able to think straight. She had been the one to come to him when he needed someone when all the stuff was going on so it should not surprise her that she was there now. He just never really let anyone that close to him. He was looking rather lost he was not sure what was so funny but his body was feeling drained. He thought his friend had lost her mind.

There are no secrets that you could tell me that would send me running for the nearest town. You have been there for me through a lot of things. Well whatever the reason you stayed I for one am glad that you did cause well you are not exactly one of them and I need to be able to have someone that is not one of them to not feel so alone. You have nothing to thank me for at all. You have done more for me than any one person but I still think about when it is you are going to decide I am not worth it and take off from being around me too. I am the one that no one wants hell I doubt she ever really wanted me either. I guess I just dont know much any more. But we better get you back home and out of the cold. Dont need the newest buisness owner getting sick now can we. Hell at this point I am not even sure I am staying at all. Too many memories here, too much pain. Very little good is left here for me anymore.

Sometimes that which we seek can be found easier if others know we are seeking it. Just a thought for you. Maybe that person you speak of feels the same way about you. You never know until you try but we should really get back.


He stood and then offered his hand to her to help her up. He looked in the direction that his wife took off and sighed. She was still his wife and unlike some like her that still meant something to him. He had to for now go and make sure that Ariela got into a warm place he did not want to see her get sick.


Thu Mar 04, 2004 9:54 am
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The last of the bodies were buried. This was what was needed the people put into the ground would never be forgotten the only one that he did not personally see buried was little Robert. That was Con's decision. It was something that Con needed to do and did not really want to do alone but he knew he was not who his brother needed or wanted there. Things had been so out of the normal lately for what was normal for the hall. He had made sure his son was down for the night kissing the boys forehead before he moved from the room. Thankful for the blessing that he and Kiara had. He remembered when she told him she was pregnant with his child he was scared but he was happy as well. They had shared a very passionate relationship. Whenever it seemed like the passion may die it just came right back again.

He could not find her then he though to maybe seek out his brother that Con may have gone to the tavern that Ariela was running. He to the tavern and he walked in.

Has anyone here seen a pretty little spitfire of a red head around here?


Thu Mar 04, 2004 10:04 am
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If he knew what I knew, Condrik would most certainly run, he would run so far and so fast we'd see nothing but a trail of dust. I am an idiot and I know it but I am not so stupid as to spill my guts even if he made mention of enlightening my unknowing secret desire to the fact that he was indeed loved. As much as I wanted to grab hold of him and shake him while screaming in his face that he was that one, I kept my mouth shut about it and simply slipped my arm through his while we made the walk back to the inn. Every now and then he would turn his head to look behind him, I knew he was looking for his elf, maybe even thinking that he would see her coming back to him, I'm sure you can imagine how that made my heart sink. I have no one but myself to blame naturally. If I had just kept to my own policy, I wouldn't be in this mess and it is a mess for me. I have never loved anyone, not in the way you think, I love Alec he's my brother, I love our parents, but I have never loved outside of the box so to speak. And what do I do? Love a man who could never love me that way in return. That tells me there is something seriously wrong going on up in this head of mine, my head should have stopped my heart but did it? Noooooo. Of course not.........

So you really think that I will grow tired of you pal or that I will be disappointed by you? Honestly Condrik, there is nothing you could do to disappoint me because you shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone especially me, anyone but yourself that is. I don't know why you have to constantly blame yourself for what happened, it was her choice pal, you know that deep down, it's just going to take some time for your heart to listen to that brain of yours. As for letting anyone know what I am looking for.... well like I said, now is not the time.....

We reached the inn and when we stepped inside a took my arm from him and waved him off to a table.

Go sit yourself down pal. I'll bring you a drink and you ARE going to eat something you hear me, if you don't eat your going to waste away to nothing and I just cannot stand for that!


Thu Mar 04, 2004 10:15 am
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He walked with her back to the Tavern and he had looked around not sure why. He still felt a bit unsafe in some ways and yes in some ways he was hoping his wife would return to him. What man would not want his wife by his side. Yes he did blame both Oriana and her damned brother for most of this. He did know some of it was him as well. Some of it was Rayne as well but he failed to see any way that he could say Oriana and her brother were not involved in this. She had promised she would come back to him after talking with Orianas brother but she did not. What had happened who had done what to change her into such a coward. That is what he currently saw his wife as is a coward. She was as much of a coward as her ex was as many times as he took off. Con could do his duties and still be a husband to his wife. Any real man could do his duty and still be a husband. But she learned to be a coward from the best of them, she left just like her coward of an ex had left her many times. Claiming it was for one thing or another but there was nothing behind it other than cowardice.

Sorry Ariela my mind seems to be going pretty fast. I still want to keep an eye on the area and make sure it is safe. I know it is said that the danger is gone but I just want to make sure. I do not want anyhting to happen to you. For if harm was ever to come to you because of me I would never forgive myself even before your brother would try to pound it in to me. Thanks for watching out for me, you are a good friend. That man that you spoke of earlier is a very lucky man to have you care about him in such a way. I wish you all the happinesses cause you deserve them and when you get something that special never let go of it. I have to blame myself partly for what happened cause maybe if I was a better man things would have turned out differently. There was a lot I did not understand when first coming to the hall. Some things I could not handle. Then I was not strong enough to fight what my father was doing to me. Though I know ultimately her leaving had to do with something other than me. Someone other than me, I know she is not coming back not for a long while at least if at all. I do not like facing that fact but I am also no idiot either.

Before they went inside he leaned and kissed her cheek. He went and took the table that she said. Yes drinks would be good but the idea of eating right now made him feel sick. He did not want to eat he did not want to sleep, he did not give a damn about mjuch right now.

A drink is most welcome though I do not think that I could eat anything my stomach is too upset the thought of food makes me feel ill no offense to your cooking.


Thu Mar 04, 2004 11:42 am
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Time for a new thread. Thanks!

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Fri Mar 05, 2004 8:16 pm
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