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 Fools Rush In Tavern & Inn 
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As he stepped in he saw a man near the wall in the shadows. There were others there doing what people do in the taverns. Drinking and talking about the day's events. Mostly town's folk it seemed from the look of things. Each little group clustered among themselves, laughing at a jest or two. Then there were the loners that brooded over their ale, thinking of harsh times and lost loves or the sort. He decided that he did not want to be one of those this night. He walked up to the bar and asked for the innkeep. As he waited there he kept going through the folds of the robe only to keep his hands occupied. To his surprise he did find a small pocket near his breast that held a few coins. Coins enough to get him a night's room and some ale. He ordered up the drink and took a seat in the middle of the room to wait for it.

He looked around and saw some of the people staring in his direction. He looked at himself and though that maybe there was something wrong. Nothing out of the normal seemed to be going on but still they stared. Getting a little nervous he simply looked at the table and waited for his drink.

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Sun Feb 22, 2004 2:30 am
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I damn near died, not sure if it was fright or plain simple shock and awe that made my heart skip a beat or two but when latest arrival walked through my door, yeah your friggin' right I almost fell over. The rumors had flown, whispers were everywhere about Orianas' husband, we all thought he was dead, hell the way the woman had been walking around like she were the undead herself had been a pretty good indication that we could believe everything we heard. That's all shot to hell now though. I'll never believe anyone has died again unless I've seen them laying cold and lifeless myself. Don't ask me what came over me then or why I all of sudden had a fire lit under my ass, I couldn't tell you why I did what I did even if you threatened me losing my own life for the answer. All I do know is seeing Guidion, knowing the hell that Oriana had been putting herself through, well it pissed me off, and I am not one to anger quickly. I stopped the barmaid who was trapsing across the room with his drink in hand and sent her off to tend to anyone else who was in need of food or drink, this drink I would be delivering myself. The closer I got to where he was sitting, each person I passed turned their head following, some were wide eyed, others slack jawed, and still others couldn't keep their lips from moving and their tounges wagging, all these reactions were because the entire town believed Guidion to be dead and there he was alive. Setting his drink down in front of him I stood there waiting for him to look up and when he finally did the words just flowed.

So your not dead after all, well that is good. Now maybe your wife will stop walking about like she were a mindless zombie. You have seen her haven't you or are you going to tell me you don't care? I hope for your sake that you still give a damn. She's not perfect by any means but one thing is for damn sure, that woman loves you. Despite her mistakes she deserves a second chance.

I really didn't have anything more to say than that and I really wasn't given much of a chance to even if I had anything more to say because Kiara came out of nowhere and dragged me off with a look on her face that could have killed if such a thing were possible.


Sun Feb 22, 2004 2:45 am
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He grinned watching things from the shadows he was surprised his sister in law had not noticed his presence. He would not have expected Ariela to realize he was there but Kiara knew of his family's ways. He smiled and stepped out a bit.

Now tell Me Miss Ravine who is it that one needs to know around here to be shown to a table and shown some service around here. You know I been waiting quite awhile to see what kind of service I would get here, and here my friend has not even offered me a drink. Now how should I take that as hospitality.

He smiled at her knowing she was probably going to give him something right back. He watched to see the look on her face. He had come to talk to Rayne but stopping for a few moments he decided he need some food and drink first. He waited on the reactions with a grin of sorts.


Sun Feb 22, 2004 2:54 am
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Stunned was the right word to use. Stunned and shocked at this woman that had served his drink. He listened to her as she spat out word after word, not giving his the chance to speak before she was dragged away by someone else. He stood up and grabbed his drink. He looked around once at the patrons. Some stared back in defiance as the caught on to the remainin courage of the woman, others shielded nack as though he would lash out at them for being in the same room. Guidion did nothing but take his drink and walked out of the inn. On his way out he dropped a few coppers on the floor for the drink.

Once outside he stedied his shaking hand as to not drop the drink. Anger swelled in him as he thought of the woman's words.

So your not dead after all... your wife... I hope for your sake that you still give a damn. that woman loves you... she deserves a second chance...

What woman? What wife? He had not been in this world for more that a few breaths now someone was claiming he had a wife. Then the image of a child crept into his mind. A child calling him papa.

It couldn't be. He was simply there by mere coincidence and nothing more. Brooding over this was going to get him nowhere. He needed answers and he needed them now. He thought of his brother and the misery he had bestowed upon him. He knew the answers but evaded him like the plague. There had to be more than mere coincidence that dropped him in this particular place in the world. There had to be more to the people that stared at him than just being mere strangers in his eyes.

He emptied the last of the ale on the ground. The liquid had left a foul taste on his toung. He tossed the mug against the wall of the inn and started to walk off once more.

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Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:03 am
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I have said time and time again that I hate getting into affairs that are not my own, but you have to understand something, if I had to see Oriana looking like death warmed over one more time, if any of us had to hear the rumors that she had gone mad or of how she was punishing herself, praying for death to gods she had no belief in, I was going to rip my hair out and damn it I have beautiful hair so I had to step in, not only because I liked my hair but because, well hell, I just cannot stand watching a grown man act like a barbarian and my little establishment didn't do a damn thing to deserve getting messed up because Guidion wanted to pitch a fit.
I had fully intended on marching myself straight up to him and tearing him a new one if you catch my drift but I was ambushed by a blonde haired blue eyed devil who had the most amazing way to make me forget that I was about to stick my nose in even more where it wasn't needed. Believe me I wanted to say something else to Orianas husband but the look on his face was another reason I turned my attentions to Condrik. I was a bit surprised at my reaction to seeing him again, I smile so damn wide I thought my cheeks were going to burst. Condrik had become a good friend to me, not like Kristian and I had been, no far from it, with Condrik there was more than just being a bed buddy so to speak, there had been more with Kristian too mind you, but not like this.

Sit yourself right on down pal and tell me what you need....

The tone of my voice changed just a little then, I couldn't help raising it, not because of Condrik but because I was still a wee bit ticked at the brutish behavior that had been displayed a short moment before.

Tell me what you need Condrik and I will see that you get it served to you by my own hands, that is AFTER I clean up the mess SOMEONE who doesn't know how to behave in public has made. I swear to the gods if every man who had it out with his wife acted like that, there'd be no more mugs to drink from in all the world...

That damn smile was still plastered all over my face, what was even more appalling to me was the way my heart jumped every damn time I looked at Condrik. Reminding myself over and over again that he was a married man I hurried off to tidy up completely forgetting just what it was that my friend had wanted to drink, of course that was because he never had the chance to tell me what that drink was, but I had to move, thinking around him, was all of a sudden something I had such a hard time doing and I had to find out why.


Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:21 am
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He sat himself down and grinned at her.

I was actually waiting to see how long it would take to be noticed where I was. I got to see some excitement from my spot. What I could use, well surprise me. I will drink most anything. You are right though us men can act like idiots when fighting with our wives. I have done it on more than one occassion. I also know there are women who can give us a run for our money in that category. So tell me how is buisness going?

He was waiting to ask of her, he wanted to see his wife. He had that bad feeling that someone had got to her. He thought in his mind of the bitch's words and that is what he saw Oriana as and always would. It was probably to do with her as well as to why his wife had been scarce. He had not worried about her seeing Gabriel if it had not been for Oriana being dead set on getting them back together. He thought of his wife and a smile came to his face.

She had made vows to him, vows she had no reason to break. She would not go back to the way her life had been, she had even told him that. Her words before all this crap happened is what mattered. She would always be true to her vows that is what she told him and that is what he believed. He knew others would try and get to her but he also knew that she could be stronger than those attempts if she chose to be or she could turn her back on her promises on her vows because of what others wanted her to believe.

He would go and seek her out after he sat for a few minutes.


Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:37 am
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You want to know how business goes pal? Well let me tell you, it would be a hell of alot better if I would just stick to my own policy of never getting involved in anyone elses business.

I knew the real reason that Condrik had come was not to see me or to really know how everything was going, he had come wanting to ask about his wife, but I was glad that he put up the pretense at least, he was good about making sure he didn't brush me aside even though he really wanted to know about Raynalia, I suppose he really does look at me as a friend and if that is all I am, then I will be content. Listen to me carrying on like I were some silly chit with a schoolyard crush. I should know better wouldn't you think? Everyone knows my veiws on love and matters of the heart, I think most people allow themselves to care that deeply because they are lacking in their lives and need something to give them purpose, case and point, my pal. Condrik is a good man with the potential to become something greater than he is, but if you ask him, he is nothing without the elf... I see so much more in him, but it is not my place to say anything, I tried that once and it nearly blew up in my face. Luckily for me, when that happened Condrik did not see it as me trying to interfere, he saw my attempt for what it was, I was merely being a friend. Would it shock you to learn that I do think of him at times and sometimes, only sometimes I find myself daydreaming of more? We won't get into that though. I have no business daydreaming of anything where he is concerned. I know where his heart lies and I know what he wants, all I can do is what I have been doing, being that friend and nothing more. Sitting across from Condrik and running a hand through my hair I sighed heavily. Might as well get to the heart of the matter eh? No point in putting it off or dancing around the subject.

I don't know where she is pal, she was here two nights ago and paid for a room, but I haven't seen her since. I think she is avoiding everyone she knows. In the mornings when I clean the rooms, the bed she sleeps in is always made but you can still tell someone slept in it the night before, and at night when all is quiet I swear I hear the stairs creak like someone where walking on them but when I get up to look there is nothing there. Her door is always locked at night so I assume she is in there then but for all I know she's climbed out a window. I wish I had more for you pal, but I don't. How are you holding up Con? I know it's been hard on you. You know if there is anything I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask.


Mon Feb 23, 2004 2:58 pm
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He sat there listening to her and he smiled. He was glad he had come to see her. She always had the way of making him feel important. He just wished his wife had shown him such loyalty as his friend did. He looked at her the tiredness and wear showed on his face.

Truth be told Ariela I am not doing well at all. I just can't seem to keep my mind off of my wife. I am glad the buisness is going well for you. You deserve some good fortune. I know she was here, I could feel her presence. I know she is in hiding but from what? That is something that I question. THe night she had been taken we recommited to our relationship. I believe her words of that night. That is all that has gotten me through along with the strength that my friends bring. We still have to bury Robert I dont think I can stand to see that happen, and I need her. I hate to admit that but I need her there with me. I just dont know for so long I live for hate and looked for destruction of things. Then I met her, and she changed that. I am a different man then what I was. I do not know what I would become without her.

I think without her I would probably bring myself back into the every day battles maybe even hoping for the end to all of it. What you can do is leave a note there for here if you would. I mean I dont want to put you in a spot but I need to know what is going on. I miss my wife.


He looked up and at his friend the sadness showed in his eyes and he sighed as he sat there. He was trying to hold back what he was feeling. He looked at Ariela h was thankful for her presence. He was glad he had come to see her.


Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:32 pm
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I was floored, even appauled at what I was hearing. I cannot believe that little Robert was still waiting to be brought to his final resting place. It might not have been my place to say anything, and given how tired Condrik looked, hell the man had enough bags under his eyes to carry a queens belongings, I didn't want to press the matter but the ideal of that little boys body slowly decaying while Raynalia was off doing who the hell knew what, well I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Of course I wasn't ignorant about it, I was talking to Condrik afterall and he could not be blamed, he was trying to do right by his wife waiting so that they could bury their adopted son together, but it could not be put off any longer. Reaching over I put my hand on top of his, a simple gesture to soften the words that were to come.

Condrik, in the time that we have met, I believe that we have truly become great friends. You know I try my hardest not to take sides or to get too involved in matters that do not concern me, but I have to say something that your probably not going to like pal, and I am only saying it because I am your friend...

This was probably one of the hardest moments I have ever been in, the most difficult position I have ever put myself in, like I said, Condrik is very important to me for whatever reasons, even if I do not want to admit what those reasons are. It was here I paused for just a few seconds, long enough to remind myself to breathe....

Your going to have to do it without her Con, please don't be mad that I even suggested it, but that little boy, he deserves to be put to rest, it's not fair to him to keep his body.... to give him the proper burial he deserves. I can't say I know what is running through Raynalias mind or what is making her run as she has been doing, but your going to have to put your concerns for her aside for just a little while pal. I know how much you have been through and I wish I could do something to make it easier on you, all I can do is be there for you Condrik and be honest with you as I always have been, even now knowing you could be hurt by what I say, I have been honest with you because you are important to me and you deserve honesty....

I waited then while my words sank in, I wasn't sure what his reaction was going to be, but I can tell you this. I have no intentions of turning my back on him now, no matter how mad he might get.


Mon Feb 23, 2004 11:00 pm
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He looked at her he was not sure what emotion to feel more of. He needed his wife, he needed to know what was going on. He looked at her and knowing Robert needed to be buried with or without Rayne there was hard. He looked up and a lump got caught in his throat.

I know that Robert needs to be buried. I thought she would want to be there for that. I need her there for that. I can't do it alone Ariela. I just can't do it alone. I know it sounds funny coming from the one who likes to do things his way etc, I just know I could not handle it alone. If you could leave my note for my wife I would apprecciate it.

He got up realizing that coming here had been a mistake in some ways. He nodded to Ariela.

I think I am going to be going now. I probably should not have come in the first place. This is Raynes refuge something she seems to need right now I should not have come.


Tue Feb 24, 2004 12:26 pm
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I stood with him but could not look directly at him, I'll be damned if any man sees tears in these eyes, even if that man was someone as close to me as Condrik is, I'm sure some think me cold for it, but I see crying as a omen of sorts, if I cried in front of him now, I could not trust myself to hold my tounge should he look at me or I him. So I concentrated on the bar across the room.

I will do my best to see that your message is delievered to her pal, I'll keep an out for her as best I can, if I don't see her, I'll slip it beneath her door.

I still have a hard time believing what happened next, I should believe it though because I'm the one who did it. Considering how I am... you know I really should stop saying that, who I am now is not the same person I was before I came here, my own priorities have changed, my ways of thinking have changed even if only a little... I still could not bring myself to look at him, not directly in the eyes but I threw my arms around him and hugged him. I think I shocked the hell out of us both.

She should be there Condrik but if she isn't, you won't be alone, I will be there pal...


Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:31 pm
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He nodded as she talked and then she did shock the hell out of him when she hugged him. He did not mean to but he shrinked back. He was not the hugging sort the only people he had ever been close to had hurt him in one way or another if they were females. It never was a good thing for him to be close to anyone. He felt bad for just taking off like he had leaving the note for Raynalia but what was he to do. He did not want to hold anyone or anything, not unless it was his wife. He kept having the feeling something was really wrong and that is why he was being avoided. That note that he sent was simply asking her to meet him and to talk of whatever it was that was going on. He still had the feeling that Oriana had a hand in causing a problem just as she had swore to her brother that she would do. If people had left them alone from the beginning he and Rayne would have been fine but the elite were always sticking thier nose in where it did not belong and it was not needed. Then he did something that he had to, he killed his own father not out of hatred for his father cause he had really wanted to know more. But because of the things his father had said above all else that his father had threatened his wife and Son and his sister in law and nephew. But it was more so the threatening of harming his wife and son that had got Con into enough rage. He had been wounded in that but then his elf came to him telling him everything would be all right. And that is what he believed in was her words before she was taken cause that was Raynalia, not the person that was avoiding him. He was sure something had been done to her by Oriana and Gabriel.

He had finally stopped when he had come to where his son was the coffin that he had picked and he kneeled by it. His hands against the coffin knowing that Robert was inside and he cried for his son. He cried for the loss of family that he was feeling from missing the boy. True he had not been totally thrilled at first but it was out of fear he was not thrilled but then Robert had won over his heart and he came to think of the boy as his own.

I am sorry Robert I do not know why Mama Rayne is not here but I know Ariela was right I need to put you to rest there is a spot ready for you near your parents. I will never forget you Robert, and I will never stop missing you.

He just sat there waiting not sure of how long to wait.


Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:59 pm
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Condrik...

The elf had finally come out of seclusion, if one could even call it that, she hadnt really locked herself away anywhere, it was more like she was doing her best to avoid everyone she knew, her decision to leave had not been an easy one and she thought maybe the less they saw of her, the easier it would be for them to accept her departing. That however did not turn out to be the case. She could not have expected Condrik to stop looking for her, and she knew that part of the reason was because of Robert. She owed the little boy a proper farewell and had stalled long enough. And she owed Condrik.... She was tired, her body was weary, but her mind was still working still functioning at the same level it always had though one wouldnt know it by the choices she had made of late.

Ariela managed to give me your message, I'm here now.... but I can only stay long enough to see that our boy is put to rest properly, there is a ship waiting for me at the pier in Lorillard.....

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I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
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Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:14 am
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Of course you are going to run away from things, its the easy way out now isn't it. You promise to work things out with me, then this shit happened and then instead of staying with your husband you go running off to the man who left you how many times. Then youn just disappear. That is just great Raynalia, I see how much you actually give a damn about your promises and your words to me. Oh wait of course not you learned how to walk away from stuff from the best after how many times he did it to you. As much as I love you you make me sick. Tell me something Raynalia did you have fun in your little games with me cause if you leave now it shows thats all that it was. Are you that much of a coward to face things, oh wait you are already showing that. I guess vows and promises dont mean a thing to you since you had so many broken by others. No matter how far away you go that is not going to keep me from loving you, but you assured me nothing would change how you felt about me but I am sure Oriana and Gabriel cooked up all this shit since she said she was going to make sure of this stuff. Of course you are going to side with them but I know the truth, and I know if everyone would have butted the hell out we would have been fine. I would not put it past them that they had a hand in everything that happened including killing Robert. What a good wife you are when your husband needs you where are you off chasing after someone who left you time and time again. Why bother coming to bury him with me? Its not like this is where you want to be.

He had gone off with an anger and a hurt in his eyes like she would never have seen before. He took the small casket to bring it to his resting place.


Fri Feb 27, 2004 8:45 pm
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The elf knew it was going to be brutal, she had been avoiding any confrontation with Condrik for so long because she did not have it in her to fight anymore. But when all she heard was accusations of her running off with Gabriel, accusations thrown against Oriana whom she hadnt even spoken with in depth since her return except for one moment at the inn when her friend, her sister was mourning the loss of her husband. any fight that had left her was restored and she was now ready to go.

you go running off to the man who left you how many times?
I am sure Oriana and Gabriel cooked up all this shit since she said she was going to make sure of this stuff. Of course you are going to side with them but I know the truth, and I know if everyone would have butted the hell out we would have been fine. I would not put it past them that they had a hand in everything that happened including killing Robert. What a good wife you are when your husband needs you where are you off chasing after someone who left you time and time again.


She made sure he didnt get too far, he was not going to spew the filth he speaking against Oriana of all people and then just walk away...

Running off with Gabriel? You have no idea do you Condrik? I'm leaving of my own accord, by MYSELF. Why? Because since I have come back I have had plenty of time to reflect on many many things and I realized two things. One... nothing you can say or do could EVER make our marriage work, too much has happened to change me and I cannot be the person you need and want. I have to be true to myself and I do not need nor want anyone to accept that. Two... I realize that I could not be with a man who lays blame on the shoulders of others, especially when those others are innocent and should be free of blame. How DARE you think to blame Oriana and Gabriel for all that has happened. They had NOTHING to do with Roberts death or Rachels,Brodricks and Rones. Do you think for one moment that SHE of all people would hurt me so deeply by killing my son and Rone? No Condrik. You are wrong and you have shown me just how bitter and jaded you are. I am leaving because I need to and I am going alone because I need to be as far away from all this as I can be. I do not want this life anymore. Say whatever you want about me, think whatever you want about me, NOTHING matters to me except what I think about ME.

There was nothing more to say, anything he might say to her from that point on would fall on deaf ears, she had not wanted to make her parting an ugly one but it was slowly turning that way....

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I wanna heal,I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong


Sat Feb 28, 2004 1:28 am
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He laughed and he looked at her. You really are a work of art Raynalia. You were all willing to work things out with me till Gabriel came back. No I did not say you were running off with him or has your hearing become that messed up. I did say he had something to do with all of this and I believe so does Oriana why cause this is what she told me she was going to cause. See Raynalia you got to realize something you are no better than Gabriel was to you if you go now. IT also shows that they did have a hand in it since you would rather be with him when your husband and your son needed you. You really don't know me if you think I would be antrhing but jaded after the way I was treated by your precious Oriana and her brother while you were gone. And yes I believe the attacks had to do with Gabriel why cause i am not a stupid man, maybe you would like to think so but I am not. I will make a bet all the deaths here were contributed in some way to the man who had already caused so much pain for you. I could make our marriage work I have always been willing to do anything for you but that was never good enough for you, you were the one always running to other people not me. What I need and want is a woman who can keep her marriage vows. I take blame for some of what happened before you were taken from my arms that night, hell do you even remember your promises to me? Oh wait why would you do that. I am not the callous one here Raynalia. You are the one that wont take into consideration for a moment that your friend made such claims. You know its rather funny you told me not to worry about Gabriel ever but you would have rahter been there then helping with things here and being here where you belong. But then I see Roberts death meant nothing to you. Without the message would you have even come to see him buried or were you going to do what you learned so well from your ex husband and walk away without a word or a trace. ITs sad that I have had more support from people I hardly know then the woman who chose me to be her husband. Where was he when you needed him, oh wait sorry Oriana and Gabriel can do no wrong. Tell me Raynalia do you plan on going to a priest and telling them that I am dead as well? Though toyou I know Gabriel was dead but see I am very much alive and have been willing to work on things and so were you till all this happened and until Gabriel walked back in your life. Aint it curious that Gabriel was the only one Oriana would let do anything oh wait you don't know what happened while you were gone but then again why would it matter to you since it actuallyshows that I give a damn. You know the only thing she would let me do is stand over that damn pool watching you. I would bet damn near anything if the truth comes out about all of this that somehow the cause of it was your ex husband.

But the basic of it is you are breaking your vows and promises, you have no idea things i have changed but yes of course i am going to be jaded when you are just throwing out all your promises and vows. Its rather just another way of you letting things come in between us. BUt then again you never were one to put a stop to it till something really went too far. I made my mistakes but I never went far and I never would because i do not walk out on my vows or my promises. But then again I have a different values then most I believe in my promises and my vows


Sat Feb 28, 2004 2:37 am
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What it comes down to Condrik, is too much has happened here, too much that I want to get passed and the only way I am going to be able to do that is to leave. Yes I was going to go without so much as a word because I did not want to have to deal with you thinking exactly what your thinking. You are right about one thing. I cannot keep my vows because I do not want this life anymore. You were not a game Condrik, and the time with you was spent in love, but I cannot do it now. Of course you are not going to believe me because I am not doing what you want, well I am sorry but I cannot do what you want because it isnt what I want and I am not going to pretend that it is just to spare you. I'm glad that you have someone whose been there for you Condrik, I hope that you will be able to find happiness your own way but I cannot be a part of it.

Raynalia ran then, there was nothing more for her to say, she had to leave, the feeling of panic and being confined was starting to take hold and she had to rid herself of that feeling, rid herself of all the negativity she had felt since she had returned. The only way was for her to get as far away from the town and the hall of shadows as possible.

_________________
I wanna heal,I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong


Sat Feb 28, 2004 11:50 am
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Peasant
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He went after her he had finished putting Robert in the ground and the dirt covered the coffin. He knew she could hear him.

You know Raynalia if you had put your marriage first you would know how I feel but you never did give it a real chance. You never did put us first and that is where we failed cause you could not do that. See because I would go anywhere with you even if it was away from here. But you do not even want to give it a chance. You can not tell me the truth that it does have something to do with Gabriel even if you arent going with him its something he has caused.

That is what hurt him the most is that his wife had never given thier marriage her attention. Everything was just more important to her than her marriage so yes he felt like he was just a game. He went back and just sat at the grave of his son. The son he would always remember and the son that would be hurt as anything to find out how things now were.


Sat Feb 28, 2004 12:04 pm
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So you're all probably going to think I have lost my mind, following Raynalia knowing where she was going and all, but you have to understand that I told my pal I would be there for him. The way I see it, he's going to need someone, any idiot could see what was going to happen and I couldn't leave him alone like that. I stayed in the shadows not really listening to the conversation between Con and Rayne, but I watched his face, watched and saw the hurt the elf was bringing to him. Maybe it wasn't my place to do it, but I couldn't stay hidden for long. He was hurting too much and someone had to put a stop to it. Stepping from my hiding place I walked straight passed Raynalia to Condrik and rested my hand on his arm and leaned close to whisper in his ear.

Enough pal. Let her go, do not let her do this to you, be angry, be hurt, you have every right to be but do not keep trading words with her like this. Can't you see she has made up her mind on what she wants to do? Nothing is going to change what she wants. Come back with me Condrik and we will get you through this pal.

He was angry, and I wasn't sure how he was going to react to me being there, whatever he threw at me though, I would take because he was the one person I truly cared about as a friend, I could not let myself think of him as more though it had creapt into my mind on more than one occassion. Truthfully the man scares the hell out of me because of what he is capable of making me feel but he has no clue and I am not going to enlighten him. I am not going to put myself in the postion to be hurt or rejected as he is being hurt now. I will be there for him though. I can't have it any other way.


Sat Feb 28, 2004 1:03 pm
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He wondered how long she had been there how much she heard. He had just sat down at the grave when he felt her hand on him. Normally he would have bit anyones head off for touching him when he was upset but Ariela was different but he had hoped she would not see the tears that were rolling down his cheeks from his eyes. He was so in love with his wife that nothing was going to take the pain from him. He was actually sobbing.

Go Ariela I do not want anyone to see me like this.


Sat Feb 28, 2004 1:29 pm
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No pal, I'd like to think that I am not just anyone, I know there is no one that can take away what you are feeling, I know you hurt and I can understand that entirely, but I also understand and have seen many times where someone is hurting this much and they take drastic measures. Sure they ease their own pain with these measures but what does that do for the people that are left behind to hurt? I do not think that you would take your own life, but there are other ways to ease pain Condrik and those ways are just as destructive to not only you but to the people that love you and care for you..... and there are people that love and care for you pal, more than you may be aware of...

I couldn't help what I did next, I find myself doing things more out of character lately than ever before, but.... well I am not going to get into any lengthy explaination as to why. All you need to know is, it's been happening alot. I sat directly in front of him and brushed away the tears streaming down his face. I was so angry at Raynalia, how could she not know what she was doing to him?

There is no cure for what you feel, no great miracle that can be preformed, but there is time pal... you won't believe me now I know, but in time, and it may be along time from now.... it will become easier for you. Pal please come back with me, you can lock yourself away in a room for as long as you need... let me be here for you Condrik... you need someone to be here for you.... no one should have to go through something like this alone.


Sat Feb 28, 2004 2:13 pm
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He practically jumped back at her touch. He turned his head from her. He could not take anyone seeing him like this. He was a proud man one that could not take such things well at all. He moved back and brought his knees up to his chest.

I just lost the one person that meant everything to me, the one person I took to give everything I had to give to. I just watched her take off from my life like I mean nothing. So why should anything matter, I give my all to someone and its not good enough. What does that say about me? Why does anything I go matter. I could die and she would not care or notice. I have lost both my son and my wife, why the hell should anything matter to me at all?


Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:51 pm
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I knew I had no words that would erase what he was feeling, the atmosphere was thick, almost choking with the raw emotion eminating from Condrik it brought unshed tears to my eyes. There was absolutely nothing I could do for him, but I would not leave him on his own. He might not understand now, but I know in time he will. My pal is going through one of the hardest times in his life, as much as he may think he is never going to get over it, he will. It won't be easy and I have a feeling that he will even turn on me soon, but I have faith in him to come through in the end.

What does it say about you? That you had the strength to love Condrik, that in itself is something you should never regret, you were able to love another and even if it was only for a short time, be loved in return. Some of us don't know what that is like. I remember hearing somewhere that it is better to love and lose than to have never loved or been loved. That isn't going to make it any easier on you I know....
I can't just leave you here pal, I'll shut up and just sit here with you, hell I'll even cover my face with my hands so I won't see you if you want me to, but I won't leave you pal... I can't


That was it. I steeled myself just incase he decided to lash out at me, which was fine if he did, he needed to hurt, he needed to be angry, and if he needed to direct it towards me, I could live with that. But I meant what I said. I was not leaving him on his own.


Sun Feb 29, 2004 9:44 am
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What it says about me was I am a damn fool for believing in love. A damn fool for believing that someone would want to spend the rest of thier life with me. A damn fool to think someone could love me. All I was to here was a game one that did not matter when a man walked out on her how many times came back and caused trouble, which even lead to the death of our son and she went running to him. When she should have been with me her husband she went to the man that has the history of continuing to walk out from her life even when he has promised not to. No all this has shown me is I can give my all and promise my all to someone and it means shit. I was better off as the man who could not love anyone, I was better off then. Maybe I should just shut myself off from the rest of the world. Why would it matter she is going to find a way to end this to make her claims and all so why the hell should anything matter to me at all? ANd why the hell do you want to stay?

He was livid and he just reaozed how loud he had actually gotten and he hung his head he had not meant to yell at Ariela.


Sun Feb 29, 2004 11:44 am
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Why did I want to stay? The answer was easy enough to answer when I did so in my head, but trying to get the words out, well that proved to be a little more difficult. Of course that wasn't going to stop me from giving him an answer whether he wanted one or not. I cannot say that I understand fully how much Condrik hurts, all I know is that he is hurting and he is angry, and if I can do anything to ease that just a little, I will.

You know pal, the first time I saw you, I almost mistook you for Losa, I was hell bent on catching your brother off guard just so I could laugh at him being surprised. Then you turned around, and I knew you weren't him, what I saw was someone who looked like they had just been handed a death sentence, I saw someone who at the time was in need of a friend, and you might not have wanted to become friends with me, but what happened? Slowly but surely we went from being total strangers to where we are now, and do you know what I see now? Almost the same thing I saw then only this time, I see a friend who does need me whether he likes it or not. You are that friend pal and I cannot just walk away. I couldn't then, I'm not about to start now. If you need to yell, go ahead, yell at me, you need to hit something, fine, hit me, whatever you need to do just go ahead and do it but let us get something straight Condrik, I am not leaving you here alone like this.


Mon Mar 01, 2004 2:04 am
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