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 Aroused Anglers' Alehouse (OAFS/open to all) 
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Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2002 5:00 pm
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Location: Lands of MUR!
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OOC: Doggeh!!! What the hell is a water troth? Anyhooo...

IC:

Porckie giggled, he had seen it! Sure, the woman had been dangerously close to breaking his back along with a couple of bowels, but he had seen it! He wasn't precisely sure how to call it, but it was pointy indeed and...he had seen it!

The dwarf was about to inquire about the laceration level of something that pointy, as he heard someone pounding on the door. There was a familiar voice which mentioned something about an 'ass-dwarf'. The last time Porckie checked, he was of small stature and owner of both a beard and a posterior, therefor he felt adressed.

He would certainly have made his way towards the door, if Nagash hadn't stuffed his hand with a trout before he was able to. Here was his chance to impress the elven-woman!


" Looky pointy woman! Looky! "

Porckie took the trout and held it above his head and proceeded to spin it around. Alternatively holding it in his right and then his left hand, he danced around the room. He held the fish between his elbows and was still able to make it spin. He made it bounce on his shoulders and finally let it roll down his arm before tossing the trout high in the air and catching it with his forehead, something he had not planned...

*BOINK*

...at all.

*BOINK*

The collision between forehead and twirling-fish did not only make Porckie's head spin, but made his body topple over backwards aswell.

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Writer's Corner Pick of the Week, 19-26 October 2002
Nuff said.


Fri May 23, 2003 12:25 pm
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Toph groaned...

"Im sorry, Azia. My fish to steak spell isn't working yet. Im WORKING on it... but as of now..."

Toph leaned closer to Azia.

"I Hate fish! I dont know why I built my castle on an island, or why Im surrounded by these fish-loving maniacs... probably because its amuzing to listen to their antics, and..."

Toph smiled
"I like to keep both eyes on them at all times."

Toph leaned back into his seat and began to sing, a low, wordless hymn to some anchient forgotten god. He paused, and looked at Nagash.

"What are you waiting for? Go already!"

Toph returned to singing...

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The "EpiToph of Faith" ~Nagash


Fri May 23, 2003 12:28 pm
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Teh Spam!
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Toph had started to sing, and Porck was doing some prelude to the dance he didn't know, which involved spinning around and trouting yourself....

Nagash bounced along with the rythm of Toph's song, and started slapping Porckie in the fish very rapidly and quite viciously with his two herrings. As Toph's voice rang out louder and louder, Nagash slapped his dwarven dancepartnerr harder and harder. Then the crescendo was about to end and Nagash prepared to be knocked off his feet by one of Porckie's infamous trout-swings.

This was most likely going to hurt.........

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Sat May 24, 2003 5:28 am
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The two fish slappers continued slapping with an artform never before witnessed by Azia. She felt pulled in, barely able to keep her eyes off of them! Holding the rod tightly in her tiny hands, she didn't notice her grip getting harder as Toph's song and the dance crescendoed.

The song rose in intensity, and the slapping continued. Her heart beat quickly and her eyes fixed on the daemon and the dwarf. The odor of fish paste filled the room and singed her nostrils as her breathing became heavier. The anticipation of the finale was too much to bear!


Sat May 24, 2003 11:15 pm
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Guys! Guys! Guys!

*Starting to get mad*

Your fish-slap dance is so confusing and what's with those fish paste they smell like rotten fish entrails. With you two around (points to Nagash and Porckie), everything just.........

Toph's voice rang through his ears lika a steady beat of dragonflies and suddenly he can't help himself but dance around Nagash and Porckie. The enchanting song made his body beat the rhythm. He was like doing a rain dance around them. He could not stop and started to enjoy and started to chant a lot more until the grand finale of the final slap........

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Mon May 26, 2003 8:15 am
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Location: Lands of MUR!
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OOC: BLAH..me didn't feel like it..and it can be read.. :(

The dwarf had knocked himself to the floor with his own trout-routine and as he was in the proces of standing up Nagash had started the herring slap dance. As his nostrils were turning purple, due to the severness of Nagash' slaps, Porckie knew it was his turn. He saw Glave and the pointy woman stare at him in anticipation of what was to come..

" Grrr! What did I tell you about hitting my nostrils!? "

Porckie took his trout in both his hands and slapped it on the floor between the daemon's legs a few times first. Then with all the might in his dwarven body he lifted the fish in the air, knocking Nagash not only off his feet but off the floor aswell. Porckie scratched his beard as his eyes followed the daemon, who flew straight in the arms of Toph...

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PoRcKiE
Writer's Corner Pick of the Week, 19-26 October 2002
Nuff said.


Mon May 26, 2003 11:02 am
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Toph blinked, and rolled out of his chair as Nagash came flying towards him. Toph's body had barely cleared the area when Nagash completed his flying lesson, into Toph's chair, upside down, no less. Toph smiled, and slowly allowed his song to drift away into a hum, and then, silence.

And silence is what it was, only interrupted by the slight creaking of the overhead chandelier. Toph grimaced as he looked at the status of the inn... Fish paste everywhere, EVERYWHERE! Porkie looking slightly out of breath, Glave doing some sort of rain dance, and Azia holding onto a splintering fishing pole. Well... at least he could help with something.

Toph waved his hands, and the door blew open as nearly invisible, airy shapes flitted in, and began to clean off the fish paste, intelligently not bothering to clean up Porkie or Nagash... the stench was too much for even the elementals to handle.

Minutes later, the entire inn was fairly clean, or at least as clean as it was before, so Toph went back to his Nagash-filled seat, and pushed the demon off of it, before sitting back down.

"Well, wasn't that something" He said. "Shall we do it again?"

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~OAFS' Resident Sidhe Mage~
The "EpiToph of Faith" ~Nagash


Mon May 26, 2003 3:29 pm
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DarkWolf had decidingly, decided like, to join the group inside. Working at the door, he pushed it open, his eyes skimming slowly over the room. Rubbing his chin softly he grunts a bit, and walks over to Porckie, throwing his insanely large...Fishin' Rod, down on the ground he proceeds to violently slap Porckie with a trout! Seeing Nagash by the chair,

I don't know who the hell be you, but back off you gremlin! I'll beat your Daemon ass with a trout too!

And with that, it was decided that he would proceed to slap the living shit out of the ass dwarf, his eyes gleefull with each thrust of the fish. Having finished, he grunted at the cleanliness of this damned place.

Who the hell cleaned this place up!? A Daemon, Dwarf and Wolf hardly make a recipe for something this clean! Ahh Elements! I smell Magic! Pfft! Whoever did it, next time, learn to cast! Youth, pfft! Now! Lets fix this place back up!

With that, DarkWolf managed back up to his feet, stomping towards Porckie's midsection for good measure, as he threw the trout at him. Looking About the place, DarkWolf seemed to think, wondering, just what he would do. But wait! There it was! The Idea of a Life Time! Why not cast a nice little Drow Wind Spell?

Phraktos de' l' su'aco belbau ussta wlalth dro!

With the end of his words, the winds began to pick up, giving the bar area a nice thrashing from the Gods of the wind. His eyes could only gleefully blink, as he rolled them upon the room, feeling sorry for any dress weidling maidens. Resting his arms across his chest, he looks about. The damage, was quite chaotic to him, loving the way everything looked. Bottles and drinks were spilt, tables up turned, and dirt and other things littering the room.

Well, I guess I could have done it without the words, but hey! You don't get the full impact, without the words in Drow! I can give it a do over, what do you think Porckie? Should I try that one more time? Maybe something more grand?

Walking over to the table, of the two that seem magical. He takes a chair, setting it down, and sitting in it, relaxing slightly, as he brushes the last reminents of fish pieces, or dwarf pieces from himself. He leans the chair slightly, looking from one to the other.

So which one of you two made the spell? Cleaning this place, is hardly an efficent use of ones time. Either of you know what the hell happened to Rael? Porckie over there, is one I remember. I remember when the little shit came into our group! Damn Rael and Gul, they let him stay! But our little dwarf has just grown up so well! YOu ass dwarf, were is the group!? You can't tell me you're it. My god! Anyways. Who the hell be you two? I don't recognize either of ya! But you both seem to be some sort of casters! Particularly you smell like it!

He said as he pointed to him. Shrugging, he leaned back, and ordered a drink.

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Shadows are my tool,
Chaos is my plan.

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Mon May 26, 2003 8:27 pm
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Teh Spam!
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After the first two slaps many things had happened wthout Nagash knowing it. He didn't remember the collision with the chair, or being pushed out. All he knew when he could see clearly again, was that he and Porck were the only ones covered in fishpaste, and that he had a sore head, and sore testicles.

He shook his head to get his brains in their place again, and stood up to bump into some wolf who murmured something about trouting him again.


Sorry mate, I only do one fish slapping dance a week. I'm not as young as I used to be, ya know?

He then proceeded to the elven girl.

Umm.... This is kinda our way of saying: "welcome".
So..... welcome in our midst. Feel free to take a seat and polish your rod.


Then he smelled something familiar.

Arf... Excuse me. I gotta stick my nose up some people.....

He followed the familiar scent, which he did not remember smelling ever before (does that make sense? no it does not...). He stopped where the trout-loving Wolven person was standing, grunting something about the Alehouse being too clean.
Now he knew he knew the scent of this Wolven guy. So he started sniffing a bit better to try and remember. He stepped in front of the Wolf, and started sniffing, going up fromhis head, and ever going down.......
As he reached the nether region of the Wolf, the guy started speaking.


So which one of you two made the spell? Cleaning this place, is hardly an efficent use of ones time. Either of you know what the hell happened to Rael? Porckie over there, is one I remember. I remember when the little shit came into our group! Damn Rael and Gul, they let him stay! But our little dwarf has just grown up so well! YOu ass dwarf, were is the group!? You can't tell me you're it. My god! Anyways. Who the hell be you two? I don't recognize either of ya! But you both seem to be some sort of casters! Particularly you smell like it!

Rael? He had eaten some guy named Rael one day. He tasted like anchovies. Not all that good. And he carried too much memories. About Chaos and all that kind of bollocks.
Looking up from between the Wolf's legs, he said


What happened to Rael? Chances are that I ate him...

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Tue May 27, 2003 3:33 am
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Toph grimaced as the winds conjured by the newcomer began to surround him, and quickly set up a ward to protect him from any flying objects. The storm ended, and Toph glanced about to see that the room, while not FishPasty anymore, was definitely not organized.

Toph quickly dispelled his elementals as they went to work cleaning the inn again. If some people wanted it dirty... so be it.

"Why clean it with my time, if I can get some air elementals to do it for me? Much more efficient, and hardly taxing on my reserves. As for youth, my friend, Id like to see you clean this place better than I could."

Toph blinked, and the room instantly became spotless. A blink later, and it was back to its messy state, albiet with a slight minty smell on the air.

"However, friend, I don't believe I recognize you, myself. I am Toph. Could you perhaps be DarkWolf? I believe that Porkie has spoken of you before. The others around here are:"

Toph quickly named the others in the hall.

"Make yourself comfortable."

Toph turned and glared at Nagash.

"I never got a fish dance..."

Toph Paused.

"And Im glad for it. That was one of the more... erm... odd things I have ever seen. Thank you. Dont do it again, please!"

Toph smiled and chuckled, then went to find another chair, seeing that DarkWolf had managed to sit in his own.

_________________
~OAFS' Resident Sidhe Mage~
The "EpiToph of Faith" ~Nagash


Tue May 27, 2003 1:25 pm
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She sat silently as the fish slapping dance came to a close, her jaw dropped in utter surprise at what she just witnessed. Then, the wind stirred, causing Azia to pull her skirts taut about her knees to keep them from whirling about. This inn was simply full of amzement! She had witnessed magic before. However, this with the dance and the smell and the characters about made the whole experience that much more exceptional!

Azia stood and straightened her skirts, then turned to sit again. She desperately needed more wine.


"Toph, is there more wine? I do believe I need it after the grand show I just witnessed.

She began giggling again as the activities of just moments ago danced through her head. This strange place made her completely forget the thieves she was in search of. She was actually enjoying herself!

"Is there a room to be had here? I think I would rather continue the company for a bit longer."


Tue May 27, 2003 2:01 pm
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Time for a new thread! -Jasmine


Tue May 27, 2003 7:05 pm
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