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 Adventures of Undead Squishing (Open: BYO Squishing Weapon) 
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Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2002 5:00 pm
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Location: Australia - Stalking My Prey
Post Adventures of Undead Squishing (Open: BYO Squishing Weapon)
OOC: It is hard to press against the pricks. Fate (not too mention a great deal of prodding) has led me to post here. Lets see how it goes...

Rule 1: Player Interaction is the name of the game. Just don't go killing someone. You want more stuff to kill, just make it happen with your magic roleplay wand. You can find them in a box labelled "Magic Roleplay Summoning Wands" by the door as you came in.

Rule 2: Don't make your post too long. If it is between 1 and 2 computer viewing screen long, it may be deemed long. More than that, a very good chance. Penalty for doing so is cruel and unusual. You'll probably loss a finger, a toe, or part of your ear. Whatever I whim. If you don't think I can roleplay that while adhering to the forum rules and Rule 1, try me...


[center]Jilhad and Co. in Adventures of Undead Squishing[/center]
:: Standing in the town square, a man, a human stands. He stands upon a small pedistal, and from this he proclaims to the passers by, and with such volume the people within the nearby buildings, the tavern, the barber, the tanner, and others, could hear...

I say unto thee. There is a great press imminent. A great evil is growing in those hills and caverns over yonder. A great evil that threatens you, your children, your homes, and all else within this great land.

Undead. They have begun to amass once more. What from is unknown. Why though is. To destroy the living, to destroy us.

Soon, I shall travel yonder, to squish these foul beings of darkness back into the mush they belong. My proclamation is one of recruitment. Who will join, who will squish these undead, who will face dangers and perils, who will squish, oh, I said that one, umm, who will accompany me and mash some fiends?

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A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.


Thu Jul 01, 2004 8:45 am
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Stablehand
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Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2002 5:00 pm
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Location: Australia - Stalking My Prey
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OOC: If you wish to join, be creative, and come along for the ride...


:: The people continued on their merry way. Ignorantly, they walked by. Too busy, too preoccupied.

:: Jilhad ponders whether they believe or felt or witnessed the evil and undead. Jilhad wondered if they had forgotten times past, the great slaughters, the great overrunning, the great destruction. Jilhad wondered if they cared for their own well-being, their own families, their own livelyhoods.

:: Knowing that the people in this small town would not help, would not aid, Jilhad removes himself from before their eyes. Confidently he walks out of town with a steady pace, one hand resting on his weapon, not given a glance to the townfolk as they scurried by.

:: Looking behind him after a very short while from town, Jilhad no longer sees the town behind him, for it has been encompassed quickly by the wilderness around. Turning back, Jilhad makes his way forward, to his destination, and to a fight. Jilhad is going to squish him some undead, and he wonders if the undead know it...

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A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.


Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:44 pm
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Location: Yay Area, CA
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Thantos was wandering around the town with not much to do at the time when he came across a man yelling about undead and smashing things. If there are things to squish, this could be fun, i shall follow him and see if he tells the truth, he thought to himself. Stepping behind a building he shed his overcoat and with a dull pain he felt his transformation complete. He was once again in his other form, one of an ancient animal, half dragon half demon. He took flight and followed the man from a distance as he walked towards the wilderness.

After much traveling, Thantos was getting bored and decided to tell the guy to hurry up. Dropping out of the sky with alarming speed he landed hard on the ground a few feet in front of the man. He knew he had to have startled the man, for his landings tended to make the ground shake.

Quickly he changed back to his human state.

I've followed you all this way, and I've yet to see undead, am I wasting my time?

_________________
retired LEH | DEAD CELL

Dancin' on da hood while Casper's drivin' - Ghost Ride Da Whip
:dood: :duel1: :pissed: :action3: :twisted:


Mon Jul 05, 2004 8:16 pm
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Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2002 5:00 pm
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Location: Australia - Stalking My Prey
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Dunno what all that noise and ground shacking was about. I was gonna yell at you to get out my sunlight. Your, ahh, body was blocking it, casting a shadow on the landscap around.

If you want to be a bit more sneaky, you might have to work on that.

Anyhows, I should properly introduce myself. I'm Jilhad. A pleasure to meet you aquaintence, ummm, what's you name? I didn't manage to catch it.

What? You question the presence of the undead? Look ahead, towards the mountains. Do you see the gray desolation? Do you see the lifelessness? There are undead in them hills, bountious armies of them.

That is where this path leads, this is where my journey will take me. And also to a lot of squishing. I like squishing undead.

So, ahhh, I still don't know your name, but you coming along for the ride, or just trying to make a fruitless attempt at scaring me?

_________________
A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.


Tue Jul 06, 2004 2:09 am
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Thantos listened to Jilhad speak and couldn't help but laugh.

I am Thantos, I've come to share in the splender of destroying the undead. It is always quite fun.

He turned towards the hills again and started to walk.

Oh and so you know, that wasn't trying to scare you. That's how I land. You'd know if I tried to scare you.

I do hope it isn't much longer til the squishing starts... it's been a long time since i've done it, and walking by foot is always boring. Thantos thought to himself as he continued walking.

_________________
retired LEH | DEAD CELL

Dancin' on da hood while Casper's drivin' - Ghost Ride Da Whip
:dood: :duel1: :pissed: :action3: :twisted:


Tue Jul 06, 2004 10:55 am
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Aurelia had been...well she liked to describe it as 'necessary inspection of possessions'. She had no idea what it really meant but it did sound rather good to the tiny elf's ears. Most people when they thought of elves conjured up images of fall, graceful beings, old beyond reckoning and possessing such wisdom as only the oldest of souls could dream of. What they did not imagine was Aurelia. She was short (standing no higher than a human's hip), noisy, clumsy and capable of causing more trouble than an entire army on the rampage through a heathen realm.

But she was also innocent and as naive as a child. People who met her often wondered if she did not see the real world but rather some kinder reflection of it. Certainly Aurelia looked at the world and met it in ways that would have seemed pure madness to most. To her the world did not seem to be a place full of danger and trouble, no the world was a place where every soul was a friend (they just didn't know it yet) and trouble was something that happened to other people. Well it certainly did when she was around. It was almost as though she trailed chaos in her wake, unaffected by it herself but certainly sweeping those around her up in its waves.

The little elf would have, without a doubt, described herself as a coward. To her there was no shame in admitting it, better to be a coward in her mind, than dead. Still...she was a contrary soul at times and prone to bouts of extreme foolhardiness that lead her to do the most unexpected of things, like being brave.

She had heard the man shouting about the undead and squishing them. It was certainly something that she approved of, undead were to be squished, it was their role in life...or rather unlife, non-life...something anyway. After all, heroes often went around killing undead, You never hear of a hero protecting the undead or their rights. And that's because they ar naughty things and therefore should be squished, she muttered to herself as she grabbed her belongings and dashed towards the man's voice.

Unfortunately her legs were too short to get there in time and when she got to the town square she found it empty of the speaker. She could just make him out, headed in the direction of the hills. Never one to be deterred, the little elf charged after the undead-squisher-to-be. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her only finally catching up with the speaker when he was confronted by...well until it changed its shape she wasn't entirely sure what it was. And even then, though it looked human, the little elf still wasn't sure what it was, or had been, or something.

Aurelia unhooked a battered and tarnished saucepan from her belt and crept up, as best she could, towards the speaker and the thing-that-looked-human-but-wasn't. In her own mind she cut a truly heroic image, weapon, or rather saucepan, at the ready, just itching to save the someone from the something. The saucepan was nothing remarkable, save for in her mind. Long ago she had journeyed to the Isle of the Archmagus Azrael and had there been caught up in a series of troubles involving three terrible demons. The first of the demons to die had been about to eat her for breakfast when something odd had happened. After the event Aurelia had never quite been sure what had happened, but the Archmagus had told her that she had killed the demon and with her saucepan no less. And well you didn't go around disbelieving Archmagi

From that day onwards Aurelia had been convinced that one of the Gods had looked down on her that day and blessed her weapon...saucepan. Now if only she knew which one.

Hey, walking off like that when there are people with shorter legs around is not considered polite you know. She said towards the one that she was fairly sure was human. The idea is that you ask for aid and then you wait. Silly tall people, it's obvious really. I blame it all on your over-abundance of height you know.

_________________
Nothing is fool-proof, fools are very resourceful
Weilder of the Sacred Saucepan of Demon Smiting
Fly like a mouse, Run like a cushion, Be the small bookcase


Tue Jul 06, 2004 11:18 am
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Thantos huh. G'day then.

So, joining in the undead squishing then. Good value. Then let us continue and make our way to the mountains, to many squishable undead beings who require a good ripe squishing.

Just wait one second...

:: Jilhad stops to the sound of the patter of short tiny small feet behind him. Slowly turning, he sees the young small short tiny elf, standing, with a saucepan drawn meanacingly.

:: He then hears her speak her words, and then Jilhad bends down to talk and reply to the small elf. Realizing that isn't enough, he bends his knees fully...

Wait around. For what, the undead to come in large overwhelming numbers to me in the village? To wait for the foolish and ignorant villages to aid themselves in a quest for survival?

Look, me and the, ummm, Thantos here are heading to the grey desolate mountains over yonder. You are more than welcome to join us, as long as you are prepared mentally for the horrors that await, and physically for the amount of squishing that needs to be dealt.

_________________
A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.


Wed Jul 07, 2004 10:04 pm
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Aurelia put her hands on her lips, the saucepan managing to just avoid knocking against her leg. No, don't wait for the undead to get to the village. What I meant was that you were meant to wait for me. You've got these silly long legs you see and it took me absolutely ages to catch up with you because I am a more sensible height. In fact if you hadn't stopped to talk to...erm him, she gestured towards the man that she was fairly sure wasn't just a man. Well if you hadn't stopped then I would never have caught up and then where would you have been? Other than on the road of course, obviously you would have been on the road as that's where you were...are...and so on. But you would have been without me and that would have been a bad thing, she nodded emphatically as if to emphasis her point.

The little elf grinned widely and offered her free hand to the gentleman who she had chased after, Anyway I'm here now and I'm Aurelia. Normally I don't go after undead, I'm a demon slayer you see. I'm very dangerous I am, to demons and well I suppose undead too.

The idea of the little elf really slaying anything, let alone a demon, was quite frankly ridiculous. From the size of her alone it looked like she would be hard pressed to hold her own against a rabbit. And a small rabbit at that. Add that to the open and innocent look on her face and well it was difficult to imagine that Aurelia could hurt anyone intentionally. The saucepan, though she held it confidently enough couldn't have really been used to kill a demon...could it?

Truth was those who had met her would have probably testified that Aurelia was only a danger to those around her by accident. That and the damage she tended to inflict on people's ears by very rarely keeping quiet. The little one never meant any harm, it just seemed to happen, though never to her. it was always the person standing behind her, or to one side that was hit by the trap or the weapon meant for her. It was uncanny really how she could avoid getting hurt (while getting those around her hurt) and yet remain unaware of it.

I've got a holy weapon and everything, she said, holding up the saucepan for him to look at. Very holy this, all sacred and stuff. If it works on demons I bet it'll work a treat on undead. Unless they were particularly religious themselves I suppose. But there again undead things can't really be religious can they? I mean they'd start praying and then BANG, they'd be set on fire or something because of the holy prayers. I suppose that's why you don't get many undead priests really. Can't actually say that I've met any. And I've met several priests in my time I can tell you that. Had to ask them about the saucepan, you see

She skipped a few steps down the road, then turned back to the others, Well come on then. Them undead won't wait around for ever. Well actually I suppose they might.

_________________
Nothing is fool-proof, fools are very resourceful
Weilder of the Sacred Saucepan of Demon Smiting
Fly like a mouse, Run like a cushion, Be the small bookcase


Thu Jul 08, 2004 10:56 am
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