Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

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Silverwolfe
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Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Silverwolfe » Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:03 am

So, here in Iraq, a buddy of mine has been struggling to stay faithful to his wife. He loves her a ton, but there was a gal here that has been slowly trying to seduce him. I let this go on for quite a while, and watched simply because It amused me. However, she had been getting fairly persistent with my friend, and he asked me for advice. I told him to be a complete ass. Didnt work out the way we expected it to. Just made her a bit more voracious and aggressive towards my friend. So, I said be boring. He did a wonderful job of it, but the gal just didn't seem to notice or even mind.

We tried several things to do without getting said female in trouble, mainly because shes pretty damned cute, and a generally good person. So, I just said fuck it, and went and seduced her. Im single, good looking and can be charming, but I hadnt realized how ummm.. crazy this chick is. (my buddy is pissed at me now btw, he liked the attention) We slept together about a week ago and now she wont leave me alone. She acts like old boy doesnt exist (which is fine by me. It helps him maintain his fidelity.) and is always around... Starting to get kind of scary tho. May have to actually go higher in my chain of command. She said the horrible L word to me yesterday... Neeed help!
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Taldric
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Taldric » Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:07 pm

...So what are the chances she's trying to get knocked up to get out of the sandbox? Have your fun, but be careful, bro. Don't let your "altruism" (not entirely buying that) bite you in the ass. I'm not sure how well taking it up the chain would go since by the book you are somewhat in the wrong. I'd probably try to talk my way out of it with her. Tell her you're not ready to deal with that and need to get your head right while you are in the shit. Throw her the maybe when we get stateside rope whether you have any intention of it or not. I think thats how I'd play it, but then I am an asshole.

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Nagash
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Nagash » Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:49 pm

Be honest: did you want to help him, or did you just want to get laid?
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

Silverwolfe
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Silverwolfe » Tue Sep 28, 2010 5:15 pm

It was a little of both. Getting laid has never really been an issue. And General order #1 no longer states that you cannot have sex in the mid east. Hell, they sell condoms in the PX. All it states is that I cant mess with the civilian contractors while I am over here. For the most part, It was to help my buddy out.
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by owly » Tue Sep 28, 2010 7:15 pm

The only reason your buddy would get mad if he was planning on having sex with her, if not he woulda blew it off as nothing. Maybe he liked the attention, who knows. i'm glad your making the best of your R&R......
i know what you said about my Momma

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Lady Maven
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Lady Maven » Tue Sep 28, 2010 10:30 pm

Tell her that you are poly and have three wives at home who would have to approve of her before you can take her in. OH and she would of course have to convert.
"By the nine arms of Vishnu, I swear I am not a Hindu!” - Apu


How did someone realize you could milk a cow? And what the hell did they think they were doing to the cow in the first place?!

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Nagash
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Nagash » Tue Sep 28, 2010 10:38 pm

Convert to what? Bisexuality?
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Lady Maven
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Lady Maven » Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:43 pm

The point is NEVER say
"By the nine arms of Vishnu, I swear I am not a Hindu!” - Apu


How did someone realize you could milk a cow? And what the hell did they think they were doing to the cow in the first place?!

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owly
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by owly » Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:05 am

Bi? speaking of bi they tried to say i was bi polar but i corrected them real fast lol

Silverwolfest i got a feeling she trying to get a free ticket to north america
i know what you said about my Momma

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Lady Maven
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Lady Maven » Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:16 am

Bi? Bi-polar? Bi-pedal? Bi the atomic number 83?
"By the nine arms of Vishnu, I swear I am not a Hindu!” - Apu


How did someone realize you could milk a cow? And what the hell did they think they were doing to the cow in the first place?!

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Grunt
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Grunt » Wed Sep 29, 2010 2:11 pm

She has all the markings of a stalker

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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Venus » Wed Sep 29, 2010 8:41 pm

if u act crazier than her, maybe she will get scared and leave u alone:P
Wow do i need a new signature or what. suggestions??
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Wulfric
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Wulfric » Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:58 am

still nothing new with you bro lol. though you need to pop on yahoo more often
"I also have a page and a half of FOUL advocating vigorous masturbation, but I think that's from a private chat, so I shouldn't share it." ~Eltharion
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Silverwolfe » Sun Oct 03, 2010 11:31 am

GOD DAMN MAN!!! DICK! Its about damned time you showed up asshole!
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Lady Maven
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Lady Maven » Sun Oct 03, 2010 11:27 pm

Don't be too hard on him Silver, he is all growed up with a hot little wifey now and thinks he is too good for us.

Ah, screw that, I have still not growed up and I did not get a hot little wife, so give him hell.
"By the nine arms of Vishnu, I swear I am not a Hindu!” - Apu


How did someone realize you could milk a cow? And what the hell did they think they were doing to the cow in the first place?!

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Wulfric
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Wulfric » Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:07 am

To hell with you Silver, yer still an ass :P

Maven, yer just jealous of my awesomeness or something...
"I also have a page and a half of FOUL advocating vigorous masturbation, but I think that's from a private chat, so I shouldn't share it." ~Eltharion
My Boss told me I should make a lasting impression on the investors.... So I shot them!

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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Nether » Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:20 am

Wulfric wrote:To hell with you Silver, yer still an ass :P

Maven, yer just jealous of my awesomeness or something...
Penis envy.
Psychos don't explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a f**k how crazy they are.

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Lady Maven
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Re: Hmmm... Im a dick. But a well meaning one.

Post by Lady Maven » Tue Oct 05, 2010 4:30 am

Excuse me, but i HAVE a penis. I may not be able to find it atm because it is packed in a moving box, but I OWN it.

Besides, with what I do have I can get all the penis I want, they aren't special. You guys will pass them out to anyone.

I just want a hot wife to show off. Is that so much to ask?
"By the nine arms of Vishnu, I swear I am not a Hindu!” - Apu


How did someone realize you could milk a cow? And what the hell did they think they were doing to the cow in the first place?!

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