FML!

[Atla]

You know, I'm sitting here bored out of my mind on a half-way pretty fall Sunday.

I should be doing something fun right now.

Something exotic.

But nooo - I'm sitting here job hunting.

Apparently, between my four year fancy-schmancy college degree in Criminal Justice, minor in Sociology, my freaking seven years experience in hand to hand combat with a framing hammer and houses, and my military experience now(which albeit ain't much but it ought to look good dammit!)... I would be prepared to tackle any job that comes my way.

Yeah - NO.

I just finished a 50+ page application for a Police Officer job... IN THE CITY... that I don't even want. And I'm about to start this 11page preliminary background application to take with me to an interview... IN ANOTHER CITY... this week.

What.

The.

F?

Because apparently, me with my overabundance of brains and brawn and schooling and general badassness - ain't fit for any job except becoming a police officer or becoming a bouncer.

And it just now, literally, occurred to me that I ought to start checking Federal Jobs in this state - stuff like U.S. Marshals and things.. UGH!

I don't wanna be a butthole!

If my parents loved me, like they always told me when I behaved, than they should have made me a trust fund so I wouldn't have to work.

Than I'd lounge around my crib in boxers-briefs, smoking cigars, drinking Rolling Rock, and watching the Military/History/SyFy channel!

But NO! Friggin NO!

Instead, my brains are about to implode from figuring out the total amount of my debt ($23,027.11), the address and phone number of each debtor company, how many jobs I've had in the last ten years - and the names of my bosses, and how many fat kids bullied me on the playground when I was little.

And I'm only on page 7 of this current application.

ARGGGH!

Frag my Life.

I want a beer - right meow. And you know, I also really want one of those nasty store bought cupcakes... the chocolate kind with the white crusty frosting. Mmm.

And some totally hot chick in a bikini to clean my guns for me.

Is that to much to ask for?

[owly]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivi0YD75rhA

that should be a couple of interesting minutes for ya......

[Atla]

Look dude, just cause I'm drinking Diet Dr.Pepper and feeding Doritos to my pitbull - don't mean I LIKE Tennessee girls.

After I lost my virginity to one, I swore them off actually.

You want a girl with a gun to turn me on?

JESSIE ABBATE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbCjcEO9z1A

That girl is amazing talented, and she's why I want David Sevigny's spot on Team Glock.. so I can shoot with her. ;> He's a fucking snob anyways.

[owly]

i like this one better these girls can shoot me if they want, i don't mind.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpFDHO-tqUY

[Atla]

Hot yes, but their gun handling is atrocious!

-shudder-

[TEVA]

Good luck

[MoP]

You sound like a Walloon!

Except for the looking for a job-part then.

[Gili]

If my parents loved me, like they always told me when I behaved, than they should have made me a trust fund so I wouldn't have to work.

Than I'd lounge around my crib in boxers-briefs, smoking cigars, drinking Rolling Rock, and watching the Military/History/SyFy channel!

I'm with you (well not in your crib ) on this one. Blood parents! *shakes fist*

[Atla]

Whats a Walloon?

Is that the thing that hides under your bed at night and you can hear it's stomach growl so you know not to step on the floor cause it'll eat you?

[MoP]

Those are Walloons too, yes.

But the general explanations:

Walloon, n., m/f: Inhabitant of Wallonia.


Wallonia, n.: Southern part of Belgium where people speak French. Owned by the notorious leg-shaving wetsuit-wearing Russian (from the province Canada) die bankier, aka Bundesbank.

[owly]

i want to be a Wallonian

[Teanos]

The girl in video #1 has some jacked up teeth.

She doesn't need to shoot a gun to scare away people, she just has to rip open a beer can and people'd be like "Woah, its SABERTOOTH!".

The second girl, eh, she's got big boobs I guess, but I kinda stopped watching after she said "my husband".

Also, what is FML?

Fat Mother Leechers?
Frothing Monkey Licks?
Free My Leotards?

[Atla]

Fuck My Life!

I should really start my own Blog thread here... Or get my own forum.

Yeah - I definitely deserve it after all the crap I go through just so you goons can laugh about it on here and tell me I have diseases or a mental condition.

And yeah, sadly Jessie Abbate is married. But hey, sometimes we can all wish for bad things to happen to each other right?

I should add, that I took my Mossberg 590A1 to the range this afternoon to attempt her fast n' fancy pump shotgun reloads...and all I managed to do was bust my lip.

;(

[Thomas]

Go with the Feds. Pay is better, benifits are better, and working conditions are better (usualy). Granted, most of the work is pretty boring, yet it has his high points, no matter what you do, be it ICE, USMS, DHS, whatever.

[Teanos]

The problem with working for the government is most fields, its easy and mindless work.

I know in the tech field there is very little room for stepping outside of the job you are hired to do. Perfect example, a couple folks I work with worked for the Federal Government before (Social Security to be exact). They had the same job for several years, and while you get annual pay raises, they never once did anything other then what they were hired originally to do. No training, no dabbling in other technology, just 'this is your server farm, make sure it works'.

I personally would go nuts with that type of job, which is why I never applied for state or federal jobs.

Now police/fbi/cia/dod/nsa might be different, not 100% sure.

My dad kept telling me to apply to the NSA. Apparently he used to work there and did super secret communication type things. Didn't know that until right before he passed away. Ahh well.

[Nagash]

He does sound like a Walloon indeed, master MoP. I wonder whether or not he has a cellar below this house.

[Nato]

Hey, some other cities have really great sign-up bonuses.

Sorry, Atlanta isn't hiring.

[Atla]

I thought that was cause the entire Atlanta PD was under investigation for corruption? ;p

[Nato]

No, it's because there's no money. ;p

[Atla]

Yeah, I don't wanna go work for a city that's about to look like Somalia.