I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

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Nagash
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Nagash » Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:21 am

Atla wrote:So I think we're gonna have sex tonight.

And I'm totally freaking out. First off, SOBER sex? I don't even know how to do that. Like...my movements and timing is going to be off. I'll thrust when I should withdrawal, I'll spin when I should twist.

Oh this is gonna be horrible.

And what if the vagina looks weird? I don't know what happens to them after births!

What if it attacks me?

I'm having a nervous breakdown!

I can't SEXIFY a girl under these conditions!


They look scary and flappy. It's horrible! Especially when you're sober.... Good luck mate, if you don't survive, we'll hold a wake in your honour.



:P
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Raknarak » Sat Nov 21, 2009 2:52 pm

So...Where the hell is the update with a cool story and random pics? Some of us are married with young kids, so we never get any! How am I supposed to live vicariously through these dang young guys if they don't update as much as possible? :-P
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Teanos » Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:20 pm

I think it probably ate him.
Even a ghost needs to breathe.

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by owly » Sat Nov 21, 2009 4:08 pm

Raknarak wrote:So...Where the hell is the update with a cool story and random pics? Some of us are married with young kids, so we never get any! How am I supposed to live vicariously through these dang young guys if they don't update as much as possible? :-P
The hell with pictures we want to see the video......
i know what you said about my Momma

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Nagash » Sat Nov 21, 2009 4:10 pm

Teanos wrote:I think it probably ate him.

If it did, I would like to draft the text for on his tombstone. ^_^
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Atla » Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:36 pm

;(
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Raknarak » Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:15 pm

That better not be the "DENIED!!" smiley.
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by owly » Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:20 pm

Opportunities cum and they go i'm assuming it didn't happen, theres always next time 8-) :D :mrgreen: :P
i know what you said about my Momma

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by owly » Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:52 pm

i'm going to get personal but apparently you haven't found out for yourself yet so i'm going to be truthful Hatama had 5 kids and everytime we do it she feel tight to me, this is why i like having sex so much. There's nothing like good sex i could write a billion poems, no wait a trillion poems about it...... :mrgreen:
i know what you said about my Momma

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by MoP » Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:53 pm

owly wrote:Opportunities cum and they go i'm assuming it didn't happen, theres always next time 8-) :D :mrgreen: :P
Unless Vagina (it would be awkward and unappropriate to abbreviate this as 'V') ate his penis.
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Venus » Sun Nov 22, 2009 12:25 am

oh so NOW u think its awkward and inappropriate!!!!
Wow do i need a new signature or what. suggestions??
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by owly » Sun Nov 22, 2009 12:39 am

Venus wrote:oh so NOW u think its awkward and inappropriate!!!!
It all depends on the position
i know what you said about my Momma

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Venus » Sun Nov 22, 2009 3:10 am

wait, u meant awkward for the vagina didnt u....


!!!
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Gerien » Sun Nov 22, 2009 3:56 am

Old, but pertinent.


Earth Orbiting Satellites Brace for Leonid Meteor Shower
By Jim Banke
Senior Producer, Cape Canveral Bureau
posted: 07:00 am ET
07 November 2001
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. -- Satellite operators will keep a close eye on their Earth-orbiting spacecraft during the upcoming Leonid meteor shower, and though the risk of damage from a stray speck of dust is greater than normal, officials are confident there will be no natural disasters in space.

Nevertheless, if a Leonid meteoroid hits a satellite, the small grain can destroy an imaging mirror or plow through fragile parts such as an electricity-generating solar panel, possibly creating electrical shorts that can disable the craft. Just the momentum imparted by an impact can throw a satellite off course.

Especially sensitive at this time -- but not necessarily vulnerable -- are the nation's reconnaissance, communications, navigation and weather forecasting satellites, which are playing a key role in the United States' efforts to combat terrorism in Afghanistan, and around the globe.

Not to worry, officials say.

"Satellites are designed with information about past storms and other things that can happen in space," said Capt. Adriane Craig, a spokesperson for the U.S. Air Force Space Command at Peterson Air Force Base near Colorado Springs, Colo.

"Our satellites are robust and in the event that there is a problem we have backup systems and contingency plans to help get them back online."

Air Force controllers at Peterson are responsible for monitoring the various constellations of military satellite systems around the clock, Craig said, but she wouldn't say exactly what additional measures -- if any -- are being taken to minimize the threat from the Leonids.

"For the Leonids we have models that help us predict when the storm will peak, so certainly (the satellite operators) can be more attentive during that time, but we monitor the spacecraft pretty vigilantly every day of the year," she said, politely refusing to elaborate. "I will not reveal anything operationally about any actions we might or might not take."

The story is the same at the National Reconnaissance Office (NRO), which is responsible for operating the many clandestine spy satellites responsible for so much of the nation's space-based intelligence gathering efforts.

"We're working closely with the Air Force to fully understand the implications of the Leonid storm, and we'll take precautions that we feel are appropriate," said Art Haubold, a spokesman for the National Reconnaissance Office. "However, we don't discuss operational details of our satellites."

It's possible that in some cases a satellite may be turned off as the best defense against being struck by a Leonid meteoroid. However, industry observers and others agree that military and NRO spacecraft are constructed with extra shielding and back up systems inside the spacecraft itself, allowing continuing operation no matter what.

"Military satellites are much more hardened and much more capable of surviving such things than normal satellites," said Bill Cooke, a meteor forecaster at NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Ala.

So to, Cooke said, is the International Space Station, where the current Expedition Three crew of Frank Culbertson, Vladimir Dezhurov and Mikhail Turin are wrapping up a four-month stay in space. Shuttle Endeavour is to be launched Nov. 29 -- long after the Leonid's peak -- to bring up a new crew and then return to Earth on Dec. 10.

"The space station has armor to protect it against stuff as much as an inch across," Cooke said. "We're not expecting anything that big from this year's Leonids."

Remnants from the icy comet Tempel-Tuttle, the Leonid meteor shower will result when planet Earth sweeps through the comet's trail of debris next week and the tiny particles encounter our atmosphere and burn up, sparking what are commonly called shooting stars.
continued
And I never even got my own damn posting title!

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Raknarak » Sun Nov 22, 2009 4:03 am

So, Gerien, are you saying that even if she's the size of a satellite(which I would like to argue against), that Atla's "little speck of dust" could still do major damage to her?
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Gerien » Sun Nov 22, 2009 4:26 am

Actually, I was hoping someone would make a joke about the "old but pertinent" line.

And micrometeorites are "satellites", too.
And I never even got my own damn posting title!

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Nagash » Sun Nov 22, 2009 10:46 am

I quite like Raknarak's explanation though. THere is hope Atla! Even your baby carrot and its petits pois stand a chance! ;)
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Atla » Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:48 pm

SCORE!
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by BetaFlame » Sun Nov 22, 2009 4:23 pm

Are you sure you didn't miss the target?

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Atla
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Re: I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

Post by Atla » Sun Nov 22, 2009 5:45 pm

We'll find out in 9 months ;p
~Atla the Impeccable!
You know, it's a human race. And you lost.

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