I have a blind date tonight! ... with a mom. :(

[Atla]

By "bars".. I'm assuming you mean Browning Automatic Rifles correct?



Cause I don't really deal drugs man, just guns! And if you'd like, I'll slip a few outta this here crate headed for Cambodia.

Or do you mean Hersey Bars? Cause I got them too.

[Maverick]

Hershey bars.

And you dont look like any drug dealer that ive ever seen.

And what does Owly buy that comes in bars?

Ive heard of bricks, but never bars.

[owly]

Today I am the xanax man
I am I am
On the low go I go
The xanax man, the xanax man
Today I am the xanax man
Yes I am
On the low go I thread across town
Through the back roads I roam
On the low go
I electrify on the slide What a hell of a ride
The slip of my mind
The Low go flow
The find in the shine
Yes I am the xanax man the xanax man
No care
No fear
No tear
In my eye... only the gleam that glistens
That burst through the darkness around
Through the ford in the stream renown
Elevating enchantments flickering into being
On the low go on the slide


Bar = xanax

[Maverick]

Are Xanax really that great?

I dont even know if Ive had one, I think i have but wasnt overly impressed.

[Atla]

Forget that shit man.

Snort Nyquil.

Yeeeehaw!

[Sturm]

I was over there the other night, and the Little One was sick. And he threw up... in the standing position while on the couch all over girl and me.

It was horrifying. And it smelled bad.

Wait, if your there long enough you might grow grey hairs when the boy goes into a fever seizure. An his eyes roll back into his head and he starts to do the funky chicken twitch after collapsing on the floor.

[Atla]

Fever seizure?

WTF is that man?! That shit actually happens?

I'm so in over my head...

[Nagash]

Wtf, Atla! That is how you end up with your penis leaking puss and burning pee!

You should be as worried about BABIES as you are about chlamydia and HIV. And you should learn this lesson before something embarrassing and lumpy grows on your junk.

You, my dear Nato, are quite obsessed with STDs.
You should get a hobby...

[Atla]

The ex-husband got the background check on me back today.

Mwhahaha.

He emailed the girl with this:
"I got Erik's background check today, we have a SERIOUS problem!"

Well, he said that.. minus the correct spelling and grammer.

[Gerien]

Wtf, Atla! That is how you end up with your penis leaking puss and burning pee!

You should be as worried about BABIES as you are about chlamydia and HIV. And you should learn this lesson before something embarrassing and lumpy grows on your junk.

You, my dear Nato, are quite obsessed with STDs.
You should get a hobby...

It seems she already has one...

[MoP]

The ex-husband got the background check on me back today.

Mwhahaha.

He emailed the girl with this:
"I got Erik's background check today, we have a SERIOUS problem!"

Well, he said that.. minus the correct spelling and grammer.

Why does she speak to her in terms of 'we'? Or is that supposed to be pluralis majestatis?

[Nagash]

He and "the girl" obviously share some problems together. One of them puked on ole Atla.

[Reylan Talonspyre]

The ex ran a background check on you? Nice.

Well, she is a fine looking woman ... obviously he fucked up somehow.

[Nagash]

She's too skinny, mate. The straw-lady you posted is quite a bit sexier.

[Atla]

He didn't know that the girl knows about my record.

She knows all about it, just like I know about her rough past. We don't really have any secrets from each other.... yet.

And she divorced him because he cheated on her five times that she is aware of. They were only married for about a year. She's one of those people that just devotes themselves to their husband/boyfriend and is very accommodating and tries to do the right thing and put others over self. So she kept trying to make it work long past the point of return.

Anyways. The guy is an imbecile. If you get a background check, unless you understand how to read it and what the abbrieviations mean it looks like I was charged and convicted of 3 Felonies and 1 Misdemeanor. When really it was charged with 2 Felony's, 1 Felony dropped, the other reduced to a Misdemeanor.

Thus, all I have is a little misdemeanor of Possession of Stolen Property... BEFORE Criminal Justice Degree, BEFORE Marine Corps, and over SEVEN years ago.

He ain't got shit on me.

And yeah, she's pretty skinny.

But not in a gross way... like Ethiopians.

[Maverick]

Hopefully hes not referring to finding all those lame pictures of you and that 16 year old girl that had the chanel tattoo. While that may not be a crime against the US govt., it is a crime against the people of America. As you were aiding and abetting a criminal you should be concerned.

SHE HAD A CHANEL TATTOO HOW IS THAT ACCEPTABLE?

I usually am not for the death penalty, but in a case like this, where there is just a willful disregard for all decency and humanity, you have to wonder if our world would be better without it.

(Hahaa)

And put this guy at my table at the wedding, Im sure that I can get into a hilarious fight that everyone will enjoy.

[Atla]

Oh c'mon MAV! That was so last year.

I've moved on to prettier and more sane things.

And you are totally invited to my future wedding. I'll make sure you sit next to Miss. Chanel also. ;>

[Gem]

That might not be a great idea. If I were him I'd take a cheese grater to that heinous tattoo.

[Maverick]

Nah Id rather let her live with that shame.

In 20 years how are you going to explain a time worn chanel tattoo?

[Atla]

The same way I'll explain my barb wire tattoo! "I was an idiot".

But.. I still gotta get a USMC tat, I ought to do that soon. I think they'll kick you out if you don't have one by the time you hit NCO.