I didn't screw this one up yet ... but I am working on it!

[Teanos]

For a second I thought about defending myself, but then I just stared at this comment and wondered "what. the. fuck."

Not sure why you would of had to even think about defending yourself, didn't say you specifically. Was just speaking in general.

[Reylan Talonspyre]

Red is awesome.

I have my target locked. Weapons hot.

Wow.

That is all I can say.

She is so damn awesome.

Never closed down a bar with just one person. Her and I just talked and talked.

Hell, I just forgot how much fun she was.

[Atla]

Never closed down a bar with just one person. Her and I just talked and talked.

Hell, I just forgot how much fun she was.

Good job you dumb fuck.

You've just earned yourself the FRIEND ZONE!

Unless of course, you're 'talking' was about how good she'd look on all fours naked with a tube of KY and College Football playing in the background.

[Reylan Talonspyre]

Actually, yes.

We were also talking about how I shot her down back when because I was too drunk and always regretted sleeping with her roommate and not her.

Notice, I never said, instead of her.

She didn't catch it. It sticks in her craw that her roommate was good enough for me but she wasn't.

Petty shit.

Point is, we talk all the time. I was in the friendzone to start, she is the one who brouight up the relationship possibility.

I am just here.

Friends with the work chick. Happy with that. Probably will lead to sex. Not doubting that, or the possibility that because I dont care she will now switch over and be like, "Oh nice penis."

What the fuck ever. I dont give a shit what women think.

I care only for my target. That target is the Ginger.

[Gerien]

WTF? Dude you really try too hard.

[Nagash]

WTF? Dude you really try too hard.

Yah, that's what I said.

[Gerien]

It's a language thing. You think you know it...

[Teanos]

I'm pretty sure, at some point, someone is going to take these posts by Rey and Atla, put them in a book and make millions off of them.

[Atla]

We'd better get our CUT.

[Reylan Talonspyre]

Hell yeah.

And Gerien, I think too hard. I haven't done anything. I was just talking to a friend about this. They asked why I was always perpetually distraught over some woman, yet the woman never really knew that part. I said that though my mind works 9000 miles a second to figure out how to achieve victory with said woman, my outward exterior is pretty impassive.

I try and shut my brain off, but it won't do it. Ever.

One reason you get tons of these types of threads from me is because this is another way to release the build up of thinking that comes from my overactive, scenario building, analytical brain.

It is getting better, mainly because no one knows. But it is still a problem.

[Reylan Talonspyre]

Oh yeah, this is why I enjoy drinking. I can numb my brain enough to allow for what I call "dumb speak". Dumb speak is non-pointed, non-friend-creating, talk with the opposite sex. I become interested in stupid, trivial issues and boring stories.

In effect, it is natures answer to my overactive brain.

[Maverick]

You need to stop thinking that anything you say or do will matter. I think there is some crazy study that women decide if they would be willing to sleep with a man within seconds of meeting him.

So I say, if you think she wants to have sex with you, just get really hammered, but pretend your super hammered (you know so drunk that you cant get yourself home). Then talk her into taking you home. Now when you get to your place the key is to some how get her into your apartment without her knowing that she is being scammed. Once in your apartment, you just go for it.

The reason why the plan works is that she believes you are super drunk. If there is a crash and burn scenario, you just call her the next day and say "What the fuck happened last night, I woke up with my face stuck to the bathroom floor." Because you already set her up for thinking you were super drunk, shell just write it off to much alcohol and you have a funny "friend" story.

Ive never tried this myself because Im not that type of guy, but if I was Id be pretty convinced that it would work.

[Venus]

You need to stop thinking that anything you say or do will matter. I think there is some crazy study that women decide if they would be willing to sleep with a man within seconds of meeting him.

Women don't decide within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if she's going to sleep with him. Instead, women know within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if they're *not* going to sleep with him... or if they're going to stay open to the idea.

[owly]

for men it takes 1 second

[Teanos]

owly,

It only takes you one second of meeting a guy before you decide to sleep with him?

Uh oh, watch out Gerien.

[owly]

i demand a tribunal

[Reylan Talonspyre]

You need to stop thinking that anything you say or do will matter.

I am starting to believe that more and more. Trying is kind of useless. Just let it happen.

[Atla]

Mav, thats what I've been telling people for years.

Get drunk, but act drunker when you go for the girl.

Say you DO get laid, you're not so drunk as to puke on her during doggystyle. But if you decide to get creative, and it goes bad, next morning you use the 'Whoa wtf? I was soooo drunk! Why does your favorite childhood stuffed animal impaled on my penis?"

[Reylan Talonspyre]

Did this happen to your favorite childhood stuffed penis .. er stuffed animal?

[Nagash]

You guys really are fucked up.