but he's not around i guess)So i'm not gonna use names, but i'll try to do the best without that.
First off, the last year, since my evil girlfriend and i broke up (i've mentioned her before, but she was the devil and screwe d me up a bit) i haven't really made much in the romance department. A short fling with a girl that ended in Sept, but was mostly just innocent making out.
Then early this Jan, i started hanging otu with the one friend a lot. She had just broken up with her like 6 year relationship, and we got a long great, but mostly just as friend. We hung out a bunch, and one night she spent the night over, but totally innocent/clothed etc. We didn't even kiss. Eventually i asked her if she was interested in me (i wasn't sure if i was in her, which isn't normally how it works for me, its right off the bat or nothing). WE decided we'd just stay friends and all would be good.
Then 2 weeks ago (on St. Patty's Day) she brought her sisters to a party a my place. Her younger sister was really hot, and pretty awesome, btu i didn't think twice (she was 20 as well, i'm 25, so a little young for me) and i did not want to make a move on a really good friend's sister.
Well the sister ended up making a move on me. We hung out a few times, then fooled around a bit (no sex, nowehre in this story do i have sex, because i'm picky about those things... it has to be the right decision).
First off, this girl visited 2 time before and each time she ended up leaving early to go hang out with her ex boyfriend who she was still kinda involved with. She's always talking to him, and he got pissed at hell at her for hanging out with me. This was not a good start.
The day after we fooled around.. she basically told me we had to stop. Because she's very religious (her whole family is). I didn't realize it upset her, but then i got upset, and i'm not the nicest person when i get depressed. I'm not mean by all means, but i'm sure i guilt tripped the hell outta her. We had like a 2 hour conversation about why she couldn't date me because i wasn't christian.
Was frustrating and upsetting. However, it turned out i had another cute girl coming over on Thurs.
And before i sound like a man slut, let me get into that before continuing.
This girll... who i've actually talked about on the old forum (may have put a picture up, not sure) i had met over a year ago... last Jan. She was a good friend, and ex-roomate of my best friend's boyfriend (yes they lived together but not as a sexual thing. However she always tells me wonderful stories of how they gave her earplugs, because they were so loud. Not the things i want to hear about my best friend (who is a girl... a redhead actually, and the girl above, 'the sister' is also a redhead.)
But i really liked this girl when i first met her at that party. She's absolutely gorgeous. Exactly what i look for physically from a girl. She's from Poland and has a sexy accent too.
However i'm a wimp. I never actually talked to her after that party. I always said i would, and wanted to, but before i got the courage, my evil ex came back into my life for the 2nd time, then the 3rd time, and by the time it was finally over between her, the Polish girl had gotten into a relationship as well.. that lasted til this last January.
Then my best friend told me she was single... so i waited and wait, and eventually they helped me invite her to my St. Patricks day party.
So basically the night i met 'the sister' was supposed to be the night i impressed the Polish girl.
This didn't happen, cause she cancelled that night, and then i met 'the sister.' i was supposed to go to the Polish girls birthday party that friday, but i cancelled, mostly because i didn't want to take public transportation for 40 min to go to a club ( i have clubs as i have pretty bad social anxiety) where the only person i knew was her (no one else i knew was going). So i wimped out and cancelled. So we kinda just moved on and forgot, i ended up getting into 'the sister' and things moved until the day she made me feel horrible.
So after that, i was texting with the Polish girl, she told me she felt weird, because my best friends boyfriend has been asking her too many questions about me and it makes her uncomfortable. I told her i'd handle it (which i did) and then we decided that she'd come over Thurs. for a passover dinner (she's converting to Judiasm, my mother side was Jewish, so i know a bit and have celebrated many of the holidays, plus i love to cook). She said yes, so i perked up.
However that night, 'the sister' apologized and came over and we basically got back together. We decided to slow things down a little, but still she came over 3 nights in a row, and things looked ok with her again. Except she was crazy and i know i'm setting myself up for disaster. One, cause we are hiding this from my good friend (the original sister) and she'll kill me if she knows. Two, she's still involved with her ex. Three, basically if i don't convert to christianity this whole thing will fail.
I know this... but i couldn't say no. i was lonely.
Then came the Passover dinner. I made an amazing dinner, took 5 hours, but we drank wine and talked the whole time. I figured out that as long as being physically attracted to her, she was really intelligent and we had great conversations. 'The sister' and i aren't so much more than physical attraction and comfort. It was a great night, and we watched Prince of Egypt and family guy after and had a great night. I didn't kiss her or anything though, but i was smitten.
All of a sudden i went from NO girls, to 2 girls. But at least only one of them seemed anywhere at the moment....
THEN that changed too.
Friday I went out with my best friend and her boyfriend and a few others and we started drinking. I had just turned in a paper Thurs. Night so was done stressing and wanted to get wasted.
We drank at one place. Then went to another. Then tried to hook my one friend up with one of the waitresses we knew when she was off duty (it may have worked, we'll see... )
THEN at like 11:30, the Polish Girl goes "where you guys at? i'll come join you" so she was on her way.
At 12:00 'the sister' called and said "whatcha doing? wanna hang out?"
Confusing... especially cause 'the sister' had told me that she was busy all weekend and couldn't see me (this wasn't true)
I blew off 'the sister' cause i wanted to see the other girl. She came, got kinda drunk, so when it came time to leave, i drove her car to my place, and my best friend and boyfriend came too adn we were gonna play apples to apples and drink me.
We never played apples to apples, but boy did we drink. And then the most 'interesting' thing ever to happen to me, which made me feel like part of one of the books i read or the tv shows i see
We all ended up in my bed, and the 2 girls started making out (as a preface, my best friend is Bi. she was entirely a lesbian when i met her, then she ended up coming on to me the first month after i moved to AZ. Nothing happened between us other than that, but after that incident we weren't really friends for a while, though now we're best friends again).
Then we drank more. Some absinthe.
Then clothes started coming off.
This was awkward, as these are my best friends and the girl i'm interested in! However, at some point the Polish girl stopped making out with the redhead and started making out with me (basically makeout sessions on my bed with 2 couples after that). We all had on underwear but nothing else.
this is NOT who i am. I've never imagined anything like this
But we had fun that night, drunken fun.. underwear stayed on, there was nothing more than making out without much clothes, but still fricking crazy.She stayed the night (my friends left at some point). No sex, i still refuse to change who i am when i'm drunk and that is my rule. I think she agreed too, have some sense left in us. But we slept together in the literal term (and thats one of my favorite things ever). The next morning was soooooo hungover, but she stayed til like 4 in the afternoon, and i made her food in bed and i did all the wonderful things i like to do, because its who i am. And it was a great, though painful, afternoon.
Of course after she left she texts me how guilty and awkward she feels and how she wishes we didn't do that last night, etc. etc. I responded how i do, that you can't regret those things, just figure what to do now. We basically agreed we'd slow it down and go on an actual date sometime soon.
i went back to sleep. 5 hours later, 'the sister' texts me that she wants to come over and see me. I'm an idiot, i say yes, and she comes over and we hang out for a while.
And that leads to an hour ago
Nothing has backfired yet, but i feel horrible. I can't handle 2 girls. I don't feel morally right making out with one, and then 5 hours later the other
I don't want them to find out and its kinda miserable.I know which one i want to choose. The Polish girl is who i like more, and its far far far less complicated. I just don't want to hurt the sister
I also don't want to piss her off, and find out the Polish girl will flip flop and decide she doesn't want to do something and then i've ruined both and have no one again.I'm just confused and stupid! I dont' know what to do!
Thanks for anyone who read this all the way through
I know what i have to do.. i just suck so much at hurting someone adn telling them this won't work out
especially after she already feels bad we've taken it too far physically.Ugh!!!! why can't life be easier.
and go for the polish girl. Sounds easy enough. 
