FML!

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Venus
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Re: FML!

Post by Venus » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:11 pm

lol even i can bs a resume pretty well.

u can do it atla!
just gotta learn to speak the language:P

a part of my own resume objective<i happen to be making mine better atm to:P > for marketing.

Energetic and motivating leader with proven abilities to effectively manage both personnel and projects. Self-Starter and strong independent worker. Highly adaptable to ever changing circumstances. Key member in any team developing and executing strategic plans. Extremely goal oriented with the objective of obtaining a job that is enjoyable and that includes chances to excel while providing great career opportunities, and continuing education through self-growth, knowledge and educational facilities.

its a rough draft:P

hmm do u think i can put my ten years experience leading a guild on here? lmfao
i can imagine that reaction:Pp



i need a freakin job.
Wow do i need a new signature or what. suggestions??
Fervent forever! CoM currently:>

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MoP
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Re: FML!

Post by MoP » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:50 pm

Venus wrote:i need a blowjob
Yes you do.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the Universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

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Atla
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Re: FML!

Post by Atla » Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:16 pm

...dont' laugh!
EDUCATION Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice
Appalachian State University, Boone, NC
Minor: Sociology


MILITARY United States Marine Corps(Reserves)
Company L, 3rd Battalion, 24th Marines, 4th Marine Division
Johnson City, TN
3/2009-Present


EXPERIENCE Internship, Jeffrey Hedrick - Attorney at Law, Boone, NC 5/2007- 9/2007
$ Prepared Criminal Defense for trial.
$ Observed and learned pretrial mediations.
$ Participated in courtroom proceedings.
$ Filled in as secretary.


Carpenter, Mountain Top Homebuilders, Boone, NC 6/2005-3/2009
$ Acted as foreman.
$ Located sub-contractors.
$ Trained and supervised new workers.
$ Actively participated in the planning and execution of business projects.


Stockroom Associate, Bath and Body Works, Boone, NC 11/2004-3/2006
$ Participated in monthly floorsets.
$ Organized products in back room.
$ Acted as Sales Assosciate when needed.


Carpenter, Dusty Day Construction, Bethel, NC 10/2004 -
6/2005
$ Participated in the construction of several homes.
$ Learned and executed finish construction, trim work, and painting.


Carpenter, Mountain Top Homebuilders, Boone, NC 9/2002-9/2004
$ Acted as Carpenters Assistant while learning the trade of home-building.
$ Learned the basics of framing, roofing, siding, and decks.
It's not $ signs, it's bullets dammit! It never copies right.

I cut out a lot of the frivilous(big word alert!) jobs that I did here and there. Like working at a restaurant washing dishes for 6 months. Or Kmart - where they fired/arrested me back in 2001.

It looks like shit!
~Atla the Impeccable!
You know, it's a human race. And you lost.

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MoP
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Re: FML!

Post by MoP » Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:19 pm

Atla wrote:Filled in as secretary.
Kinky!
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the Universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

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owly
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Re: FML!

Post by owly » Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:19 pm

MoP wrote:
Venus wrote:i need a blowjob
Yes you do.
Try yoga you can blow yourself
i know what you said about my Momma

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Atla
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Re: FML!

Post by Atla » Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:44 pm

MoP wrote:
Atla wrote:Filled in as secretary.
Kinky!
There was two of them. And one was actually do-able.

I suck at Resume Art.
~Atla the Impeccable!
You know, it's a human race. And you lost.

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Gerien
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Re: FML!

Post by Gerien » Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:59 pm

frivolous

And its fine, just pad your experience with more actions verbs.
*Ensured Criminal Defense attorneys were successfully prepared for trial
*Participated in educational experiences regarding trial proceedings
*Actively involved in courtroom proceedings.
*Effectively completed secretarial duties as required.

Your resume should list your achievements, not just what you've done. People want to read things that tell them if they bring you on, you'll make them successful, too.

*stabs MoP*
And I never even got my own damn posting title!

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Atla
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Re: FML!

Post by Atla » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:33 pm

Dangit, good point Gerien.

I just don't like it short and to the point. Instead of all flowerly and crap.
~Atla the Impeccable!
You know, it's a human race. And you lost.

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MoP
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Re: FML!

Post by MoP » Fri Nov 06, 2009 8:58 am

Gerien wrote:*stabs MoP*
What did I do to deserve that? :(
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the Universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

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Nagash
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Re: FML!

Post by Nagash » Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:02 pm

You said 'blowjob' and Gerien - judging by his reaction - didn't get any lately. ;)


Atlaman, make sure to list some achievements as well as what you've been responsible for.
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Teanos
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Re: FML!

Post by Teanos » Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:14 pm

You can also do a google search for resume examples of the field you are trying to get into.
ALot of times you can find things that point out accomplishments that you may not specifically think of.

Of course this doesn't work so well when you are trying to break into a new field and don't have alot of experience in it.
Even a ghost needs to breathe.

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