I didn't screw this one up yet ... but I am working on it!

[Portia]

Rey sweetie, you're 30 now and this chick is making you work in a high school environment. Tell work chick you think she's cool but don't want anything more than friends, period. Be ready for her to try putting the moves on you, most women don't like it when guys are over them. Hell, it's not like it's a secret most women are crazy bitches. (Myself included) DO NOT let her set your behavior though like she is currently doing or I'm gonna have to dive out to you and slap a ho, and if I have to do that you're gonna have to pay my tab and you don't want that.

smoogles Nagash

Awww, I feel like Nagash's Pikachu of redheads! "Portia-chu, I choose you!"

[Reylan Talonspyre]

I actually did all this today all by my lonesome.

I walked in, fed up with feeling like shit for the past two days, walked over to her cubicle, and said, "OK, I am your friend. Are you still pissed at me?"

She was shocked, she didn't expect that I guess, she smiled big and was like, "I am not angry at you, when you left Sunday I was hurt because I thought you misinterpreted me. I am still your friend. That was small potatoes, we are fine."

Later in the day, someone came over to my desk to check out my photos of my family, she leaned over and saw this chick looking at the photos and emailed me, "So I guess that was a little whisper about me. I saw her give me like three glances before she sat down. What did she say?"

I was kind of surprised. Right there in front of me was drama. I was kind of half ready to just walk over and yell, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!"

Instead I sent a reply back, "It was about the pictures of my family. Listen, your little drama dealing with the cock-blocker upstairs is old news. No one cares. It only mattered until I shifted my interest from you to Red. Now that Red and I are starting to look more plausible, that is the story. It isn't always about you. Stop being paranoid."

She responded, "I am not paranoid. I just want to know why she kept looking over at me with a smirk."

I responded, "Why don't you ask her? This is how office drama starts."

The funny part is, the reason why the chick was smirking at her is that she, as everyone else can tell, finds it funny that no matter what happens with me, the brunette seems to get jealous if she is not a part of it. When I do show her some attention, she shrugs it off and is kind of dismissive about it all. But I know deep down she really likes it.

Point is I don't have her number. I am not going to ask for it. I want the redhead more than anyone else in the world. We connect. The brunette, well ... I would so hit that and probably date it, but we have some fundamental differences and frankly, I am too smart for her.

I know that if I never get her number, she will call me on her own if I leave. In fact, if I never pursue her again, I am pretty sure she will pursue me. Probably after the dude upstairs (he is a sort of analyst-manager thingy) fucks her over, literally or figuratively.

Now ... all that stuff up above is what my brain is saying.

My heart tells me to stay close to Red and tell her how I feel.

Nostalgia says ...

I am going to miss the people in my department. After leaving Facebook, I really don't have a way to keep in touch with them. Some of them I will miss more, like my manager (aka Office Mom), the sassy Tennessean, the depressed peer mentor, the woman who talks to herself at night, the token gay guy, the epic bartender, the bitch, Little Miss Sunshine (god damn she was fucking hot), the engineer, the professor, the old hat, the New York Jew, the medical problem lady, the sensitive one, the woman who always laughs at me, the younging, and the pregnant lady.

They were my family for this past year. I will miss them so much. But such is life ...

In truth though, I will just miss Jacqueline (brunette), since it was her and I that served as the proverbial heart of the department. When we were fighting, the department was just a bit quieter and up tight, when we were laughing so was everyone else, when we were involved in drama, so was everyone else.

[Reylan Talonspyre]

Oh and I will so get pictures of this new eye candy.

[Portia]

Ok Rey, hon, RUN AWAY!

Good lord, she sounds like a drama whore. I know I'm only getting a side of the scene here, but for the love of God... "what did she say about me?" Is she fucking 14? You can do better and dear God I hope you try to.



Go for the redhead, but don't come on too strong and scare her off just because this little work chippy twisted your brain around for a while. You're a doll, just relax, have fun and you'll get the redhead in no time.

On a side note: I'm not calling you an alchy or anything and I know you guys have a lot of history but, take Red out one night to a place that dun serve alcohol to make sure you guys have fire together while sober.

[Nagash]

The Portia-chu is right, yanno? She must have the crazy eyes.

[Teanos]

Honestly after reading alot of that I have to admit I did flash back to like middle school for a little bit there.

I remember riding home on the bus one day cuz there was this chick that I actually liked and I think she liked me, we always joked around and stuff but she always seemed to have a boyfriend. It must of been obvious becuase I remember my mom even saying something like "So when is it your turn to date her?"

No offense Rey but Portia-chu is right, its that kind of drama.

If the redhead thing doesn't work out, you may just want to get a second job and then stick to strippers or something.

[Portia]

The Portia-chu is right, yanno?

... but Portia-chu is right, its that kind of drama.

Dear God, I gotta savor this moment....

[Nagash]

Portia-chu, we wub you!!! <3

[Kain]

Nagashie poo, I wuv u..

[Nagash]

You want to taste my man milk?

[Kain]

No just your goat recipes

[Nagash]

Boils down to the same.

[Kain]

shhhhhhhhh

[Reylan Talonspyre]

Yup, it is middle school drama. And no offense taken.

If the redhead thing doesn't work out, you may just want to get a second job and then stick to strippers or something.

Brunette is a bad thing. Redhead requires patience.

My problem is, I have no patience.

[Reylan Talonspyre]

On a side note: I'm not calling you an alchy or anything and I know you guys have a lot of history but, take Red out one night to a place that dun serve alcohol to make sure you guys have fire together while sober.

No, its cool. I said the same thing to her. I told her I just wanted to do what I am now terming "live texting" over coffee. She blew me off once already, then continued texting. Last night she was going to blow me off so I quickly saved myself and blew her off instead, telling her I need to go home to sleep and couldnt make it.

Whatever, I need to get laid. I know who my target is for that. Someone easy.

[Nagash]

When you speak of 'blowing' you are not referring to oral sex, right?

[Venus]

haha

[Venus]

wait which thread did kain say i owe him a lapdance in
im not rereading these pages but i remember it!!


why do i owe u a lapdance!!!

[MoP]

Why wouldn't you owe him a lapdance?

[Nagash]

I think that was the thread in which you were saying that you used to talk a lot. Which makes sense, as you were a young woman now. Young women talk a lot and promise the Kainman lapdances.

Old men and women are more silent and don't do lapdances with the Kain anymore.


*nods sagely*